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The C H A L L E N G E	Gail Parton

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MAY JOURNALS

Date:: 04 May 2003
Time:: 23:21:32

Todays Journal

Hi all! I had a great time in Kamloops. It is good to get together with family when life feels stressed at home. I see how crazy their lives are and I have returned home seeing my life from a different view. (I guess that was the road leveling out for me.) Anyways.... I have promised myself that I can handle anything and I am heading on my way to success. The speaker at the Pro D Day on Friday said you should make a promise to yourself and then keep it. Don't say, "maybe later", "I'll try tomorrow". Promise to do it Now! I have made myself a promise, I will keep it! I wish I could erase these last 4 weeks but then I wouldn't be where I am now. And I am in a good place now!. Take care gang. Drop me a line. I like hearing from you. Gail

Date:: 06 May 2003
Time:: 09:38:11

Todays Journal

Oops It's the morning after. I was in bed before the hockey game was over. It actually put me to sleep on the couch! So here is last nights journal. Hi Guys, I got the call saying set up my appointment for my next assessment. I think I will miss this one and tell Phyllis to just use my first photo again. I am sure I have gained most of me back again. I started back on the track yesterday but not soon enough to make a difference I'm sure. Maybe lyposuction tomorrow. Thanks for the emails Leo you are a life saver! I am writing a book on motherhood with Tamilee maybe you and I can write a book on FOod! Hmmm are they different?

Date:: 06 May 2003
Time:: 23:38:12

Todays Journal

May 6 Tuesday Well I thought it was a good day.... Parents came over with a birthday cake for my daughter this evening.. You have to understand.... Tradition says it is bad luck not to eat a piece of birthday cake. My parents are strong on tradition.It was small but still. Ahhh. I figure I better get to bed before I eat something else. Can't wait for Saturdays Stanley Park walk. I'll weigh in after that 'kay Phyllis?

Date:: 08 May 2003
Time:: 00:31:57

Todays Journal

I seem to be able to be good at keeping my eating in check at work and during the day but the evenings are killing me. I have walked alot though. I got injections in my leg again for those yucky veins and that requires me to walk alot. So hopefully I will walk off the extra calories. On the bright side(and I seem to have to look hard for that) I am eating 1 cookie instead of my usual 6 and only having 1 serving at dinner instead of many. Well there are some good things about me. Yeah

Date:: 09 May 2003
Time:: 00:39:43

Todays Journal

Hi, Day good,night bad. Well the hockey game didn't help. Walked. That feels good. In fact being able to walk without much pain anymore feels really good. I can't wait for our walk on the sea wall!

Date:: 10 May 2003
Time:: 00:34:00

Todays Journal

I am alive! Fat and happy and alive. Its great! I'll walk tomorrow with the gang. Eat nothing and still be happy. HAH HAH. Some days are just better than others. I'm keeping this one! See you in the morning. Hug your daughters, they grow up too fast.

Date:: 11 May 2003
Time:: 01:47:16

Todays Journal

Hi Gang, Wow! The Stanley Park SeaWall walk was wonderful. The day was perfect. It could only have been nicer if some more of you had joined us! C'mon you guys, we can really enjoy these activities if you just come out. We can car pool, pick up, meet at the site......Just get together. Our meeting at Gators was very small too. Too small! We got charged up by John and we are ready for the second half. Take care all. Gail

Date:: 12 May 2003
Time:: 22:57:32

Todays Journal

Can't believe it! I wrote the longest journal entry of my life and had a few prob's with the computer and now that I just checked I see that it didn't make it to the journal page. Is it mysteriously floating around out there in cyber space? Wow and it was good too. Oh well .... Lets hope I do it right tonight. I think walking outdoors is what I really enjoy the most. I come up with excuses for not doing everything else so I shall stop with the excuses and say "Way to Go Gail" when I walk. I enjoyed the meeting the other night. I know you say we don't need you John, and I know we shouldn't BUT it is sure nice when you are there. Things just seem clearer,focused,easier.... Thanks for the PEP talk. You really hit a spot when you asked how we would feel if our daughters had said they were fat. I know I would be all over them saying 'you are beautiful' 'dont talk so silly'. What am I teaching my daughters? I say one thing but my actions and comments about myself are screaming something else (and it's not good). So with effort(Great effort)I will make that one of my major changes. I have had many slips but I am still on this challenge and that is good. Right? My "Baby Steps" have landed me on my butt several times but I have always gotten up.So I go from here. Unlock the door 'cause I'm ready to open it up!

Date:: 13 May 2003
Time:: 23:47:25

Todays Journal

Hey Ho Gang, Leona and I are in our own challenge. What a riot. She thinks she will win. Lets hear it for me . Go Gail go. We call it The Support with Padding challenge. Ate well and walked today. I am starting to think about exercising again. Guess what? I jerked my back yesterday at work dealing with a tantruming student and am in pain today. One more obstacle. But with Leo on my tail I will ignore it and struggle on. We start on Monday after my assessment. Ready Leo? Tune in daily for slanderous,immature,and very humorous comments. Anyone else dare to be in on this?

Date:: 16 May 2003
Time:: 01:35:47

Todays Journal

Sorry for missing yesterdays journal. The kids had the computer tied up all night down loading music and burnig C.D.'s. Beware of the quiet ones Leona!. I will weigh in on Monday and then I take you on. So I didn't get any emails from any others wanting to join Project"Padded Support". Chicken? I was telling Leo that I ate well today even though I forgot my lunch and had to buy a salad at Quizno's for 7 bucks and throw out the cheese ,dressing , and garlic bread.I did inhale the bag of garlic bread for a good 5 min. though. Then tonight I broke down and grabbed a handful of dry roasted peanuts. I don't eat nuts 'cause they make me sick. Guess what? This is going to be a long night..... I have no idea what got into me. I think Leona had a voodoo doll made. I hear she is stripping at work. Well I guess if she gets paid for it ..... My daughter comes home tomorrow. I am so excited. I hope I don't forget to write every night. Leo will give me h#$$# if I slack off. Good night P.s. A special thanks to Karen. You are great.

Date:: 16 May 2003
Time:: 23:15:01

Todays Journal

Hi, my daughter is home and I am a happy mommy. Just knowing she is asleep upatairs does me good. My family is whole again. Well for a short time atleast. We went out for Japanese dinner tonight and I just can't eat a whole dinner anymore. I really wanted this to be my treat dinner and enjoy. Oh, I did enjoy, but I was so full and ate only half. You know sometimes I don't think anything is changing on me and then... I notice something like this. In fact I couldn't finish my lunch today either. Hey! Whats going on here?. Could I really have a shrinking stomach?. I am off to "pedal" my way through another chapter in my book. Take care all. Life is Good! See John, I am only looking at the positive,and you know what!? It really is much nicer and I feel ... well happier. Sorry if that sounds sucky but ...Well I'm happier. What can I say?

Date:: 18 May 2003
Time:: 23:58:01

Todays Journal

Happy Not the last night of the weekend! Didn't go for a walk today but enjoyed watching the storm come over the house. Cycled for my 30. I go in for my assessment tomorrow morning. I am oksy with what ever the weight is. These last 4 weeks have been a learning curve. I have learned so much about myself. I know this is supposed to be about the tranforming of our bodies but I have broken through some personal issues that I didn't really know I had. I think the journaling or just thinking about me for those few minutes every night may have helped. There is so much more involved in this Transformation Challenge than meets the eye. I feel like I have broken out of a shell. I can't explain it. I was afraid to try hard at this challenge incase I didn't win. So if I don't try ...I couldn't really loose could I? Sounds lame but it's a good protection excuse, don't you think. Anyways... somewhere over the last couple of weeks I realized what I was doing or at least Admitted what I was doing and decided to GET ON with my life. Do something I want to do. Boom! I am Happy. Crazy Hey! Tell you what. When I finish my degree and figure it out I will share it with you.

Date:: 20 May 2003
Time:: 00:29:12

Todays Journal

Hi all! My assessment went well. I think so anyways. Lost 5 more pounds. This was a 'testing' four weeks for me and I still lost weight. It is not the loss that is exciting but the gains I have made in my attitude. I am doing well!

Date:: 20 May 2003
Time:: 23:52:43

Todays Journal

I went to Guildford rec center after school today. I tried out there bike and it is so so much better than the poor pathetic thing in my house. It is a wonder I have lost any weight. Ooh I sweat! It was gross! (Only kidding) Tried out a few pieces of equipment...I am going to try out Max tomorrow. I think I get a free trial day?? I will check it out anyways. I went into a gym and didn't die. That is my big news in my life. The chicken gets her feet wet. Gail

Date:: 22 May 2003
Time:: 00:43:47

Todays Journal

Well,I finally did it.I went into Max Muscle. I went up and cycled for 40 min. Met Karen there and chatted for a few min. I finally went downstairs and did some arm exercises cause that area is kind of in the corner and I could hide a bit while I tried to figure out what was a bench and stuff. I'm so funny. Hey Leo is beating me in this weight loss thing! Way to go girl! Just watch your backside babe...... oops it appears to be nearly gone! Gee, I tried the rec centre on Tuesday and Max's today... What will I try tomorrow? Hmmm. Tune in tomorrow and find out with the continuing story of.....Gail goes Crazy.

Date:: 23 May 2003
Time:: 01:09:29

Todays Journal

Hi, today was back to 'very busy' status. I love to watch ball in the rain.(That was a joke) I would much rather have been getting sweaty at the gym. I am off for the weekend to watch more ball at a tourny in Penticton. I have a room with a kitchen so I can set my meals up. I am hoping I can stay on track for the weekend. I will do my best! Sorry no journal til sunday night.

Date:: 26 May 2003
Time:: 00:40:34

Todays Journal

Hi gang. My girls won 1st place in the Penticton Tourny. Weather was great but the eating was a hard thing to keep on track. I either went without food rather than eat bad or ate bad. I didn't drink any beer or wine though. Lets be positive hey. Off to bed now cause it is late and will start tomorrow fresh. Take care.

Date:: 27 May 2003
Time:: 00:02:50

Todays Journal

I went to Max again today. Did my cardio and sit ups and back exercises. I ate well today and feel good. Bought a few groceries to make sure I have the "right stuff" in the house to eat.

Date:: 29 May 2003
Time:: 00:00:53

Todays Journal

Hi all!. Sorry didn't get a journal in last night. Son had a concert and guess who stayed to help clean up. Anyways.... I am here tonight. Wow I tried to eat all my food from my new plan. Hah. You have got to be kidding! I had to spread it out throughout the day. There is no way I can eat that much in my little 10 min coffee break. But when it comes to eating I am a real trouper and finally did manage it all. Sort of blew it at dinner though. I had my dinner all ready and then ate the family meal instead. Pork roast,mashed potatoes and gravy. I would like to say it was my end of the week treat meal but ...It is only Wednesday. I said to Leona that if I look past the guilt,I guess it was okay because It really was such a small serving of everything and just 2 months ago it would have been a much larger serving ...actually it would have been two servings. I feel confident that My diet plan has really become a life change. Like John said at the last meeting... It took years for the weight to get on me... I can be patient and feel good about just being in control! NOW .. ABOUT THIS BABE WHO WAS IN THE GYM TONIGHT! I had a real complex working out beside her. She is looking Fab! WAY TO GO LEONA! You really keep me going. ThankYou. My butt is sore from cycling at the gym for 1 hour each night. Today was three days in a row of being in the gym. I still haven't managed to get on any of the equipment but one day.... I think I may have to try the recumbant bike( less pressure on the bottom!) Take care every one. Oh ya congrats Jane ..I hear you are muscle lady!

Date:: 30 May 2003
Time:: 20:35:01

Todays Journal

Hi All, I didn't write in last night cause I had so much to say and just couldn't get it to sound right. Thanks John for sharing with us. You have always been this elusive kind of guy to me. Great ideas, great motivation and great dedication, BUT..always too busy for the likes of me. It sounds funny just reading this now but it is that feeling that has gotten me this far. First I thought I wasn't worth your time, then I thought I wasn't worth my time,(actually I think I have always thought that) but slowly with the help of Neaghn and Phyllis and Your meetings( your talks just make a person feel good)and the rest of the Gang I have changed. I can't tell you how slow the change as been but I am changed.No more blaming others for my failures. I know that would not have happened without you John. You started this whole thing, you chose me for whatever reason, you gave me a chance at a change and you kept me hanging in there with your staff and talks... I can't believe people have quit the challenge. I feel so sad for them. It is in no way your fault. They gave up on themselves. Maybe one day they will find themselves at a time and place that is right for them to brave a change. I have written many times that this challenge has been more to me than weight loss. I have discovered many things about myself and the most important is that I CAN persevere. I told Neaghn at my last assessment that though I have been a slow learner/doer, I am very happy with my success. My only guilt is that I have not given you the "BODY" for the great 'end of the challenge' photo. Sorry. I wished last night that you would have told us earlier about the problems you were facing but today I am glad that you didn't because true to my nature, I would have rallied to support you and given 100%. BUT that 100% would have been for you and not for me. Now I am giving the attention for me. ME. I am doing all this for me. It feels good! ThankYou! A very proud participant and great success of the Transformation Challenge.

Date:: 31 May 2003
Time:: 21:29:00

Todays Journal

Hey guys! Oh yuck did I feel ill last night, during the night and this morning. I don't know why. I just know that this was the one day I could sleep in and I couldn't lie in bed feeling like I did. SO I got up, got dressed and went for a walk. I walked for about an hour or so and still felt yucky so wandered on by Max's and decided to go in and cycle for a while. Oh boy did it hurt. My legs were screaming. But after an hour(and sweating lots) I felt so much better. Don't know what was wrong with me but I was glad I felt better and very happy with my success. Normally I would have just crawled on the couch and watched t.v. I feel great tonight and am ready for my sons big 'get together'. Joined the gym 6 days ago and have gone everyday. It took me awhile to get going but I'm on a role now. Leaving tomorrow to visit my folks in Kamloops, so I will not be sending any journals til Tuesday night. I hope everyone is happy!

oh ya.... We had our teacher appreciation luncheon at my school on Friday(Wow! You never saw so much food!) Anyways, after my careful selection of "good" foods we were told to look at the bottom of our plate. My plate said WINNER on it. I won a bottle of wine. Oh well... a great regift. But I was a winner. It hit me at that moment that I really was a winner. I said it out loud a couple of times. The rest of the staff probably thought I was crazy but thats okay.I liked the sound of it. Try it ... say it now. I AM A WINNER! You are!

Date:: 05 Jun 2003
Time:: 01:24:02

Todays Journal

Hi anyone... I would have written last night when I got home from my mini trip to Kamloops but I came home to two of my kids throwing up and that kept me hopping. ...But journals are for truth so I say with great disgust that I ate two chocolate bars on the road trip. TWO. I never eat choco bars. Sometimes I think I really am losing my mind. I will say that they tasted great. I mean I really enjoyed them. I shoved them into my mouth so fast I nearly choked. Travelling with my 19 year old daughter is not a good idea. ( Note how I am blaming her) Anyways... that was then and this is now. Only had time for a walk today, no gym. I miss it. Ate very well according to plan. There is still hope for me. Karen wrote me and said she liked my pictures so I quickly checked them out myself. I am not impressed. They look the same if not worse than before. (Ahh big black spider just ran across the floor).... I hope the next pictures look better. They have to. Thanks Ron for the email. I guess we're both inspirational. Grass is always greener.....Thanks.

Date:: 06 Jun 2003
Time:: 01:27:14

Todays Journal

Wow! Is it Hot! Ate well, but didn't fit the gym in again. I am worried that I am starting a trend. I know that I am just too busy and this weekend is a two kid tournament so I doubt I will be able to fit a workout in again. I will get some walking in between games and with the heat and the melting ratio, I am sure I will loose weight. Take care.

Date:: 07 Jun 2003
Time:: 17:29:57

Todays Journal

Sorry, I missed journaling last night. Was writing one up when the phone rang and I had to pick up my daughter and her friends(car broke down in Guildford at 10:30) Three girls and a broken car in Surrey late at night..... You understand why I ran without sending in my journal.. ANYWAYS>>> Ate on plan, walked, and melted. No gym but with this heat it probably isn't a safe idea anyways. Lots and lots of water. Just got home from one daughters ball tourny. 3 games in a row and now 1 more at 4:30. I feel like the witch from Wizard of Oz. "Ahhhh, I'm melting!" Managed to eat a yogurt and pick the vegies out of a soggy Sub sandwich. But I just can't eat anything else. I drink one bottle of water after another. I am enjoying the weather ... Really!

Date:: 08 Jun 2003
Time:: 22:38:50

Todays Journal

Well today started with baseball and ended with the one game (they lost). The rest of the day was spent doing yard work and cleaning out the carport. By 4:30 I was sitting in the sun admiring the work and having a beer. At the time I didn't care if it was not allowed. It was too good to be bad. Managed to make a cooked dinner in this heat and feel good about the weekend. As a "real winner" always says, Life is Good Today.

Date:: 09 Jun 2003
Time:: 23:57:46

Todays Journal

Hi, A bad dinner. Well .It was pizza. Too many things to do and too little time. My pants feel tight already. Went for a walk through the trees at Sullivan park before the ball game. At least I got some movement other than getting in and out of a car. God I hope this week has longer days. (Even just a few more minutes)Going to bed early tonight. I find that being tired makes it harder to stay on track. Everything becomes too much. Don't want to be that way so night night.

Date:: 11 Jun 2003
Time:: 00:29:57

Todays Journal

Hey, I had the day off work so I could get in a couple of medical appointments. More injections in my leg and now it is wrapped from ankle to thigh. Can't bend my knee. This will make cycling a bit hard... I must walk every couple of hours. I look abit odd (Hey! Who just said "So what's new"?)but walking is something I can do with a smile. Baseball is nearly over.. ball parents are just hanging on by their teeth til it is all over. Are we there yet? Went shopping this morn and earned 50 airmiles by buying bags of candy. For the staff and kids in my class, really. It wasn't my fault that some of those little tiny gummy bears fell in my mouth. They were so small. I flung the bag to my daughter after the 5th one jumped through my lips. She was a hit with the girls at ball. stuck to chicken soup for dinner. My homemade kind. MMMm Take care all. Enjoy the day.

Date:: 12 Jun 2003
Time:: 09:49:39

Todays Journal

Hi, I am late writing again. Last night I was out of commission due to a migrain. It occured to me last night that I havn't had a bad headache in about 16 WEEKS. A light bulb moment. I suffer from chronic headaches. Have since I was 13. Just a way of life for me. Tried every drug, diet, doctor. BUT then came John and his PLAN and I have had only one smallish headache and last nights "put a bullet through my head" headache. So if I was to say what I have learned on this Transformation..... You are what you eat! I have been so busy with this challenge,, finding excuses for this and that, guilt, triumph, etc. that I just didn't realize what it was really doing for my body. I have woken up feeling charged and secure in the knowledge that John's plan is the right one. I guess I realized that a bit late for the challenge weight part of it but hey I have a long life in front of me( apparently a headache free one too).

Date:: 14 Jun 2003
Time:: 10:02:35

Todays Journal

Goodmorning! Baseball is winding up with it's usual flurry of games jammed in. I feel like I could go insane at times. How are you surviving it Tara Lee? School is cramming in as much as IT can in the last weeks, and now the panic (yes it is a kind of panic) is setting in that the challenge is nearing an end. I remember the day of my grade twelve grad when they were giving out the awards and scholarships. I sat there thinking "That could be me up there, but I was too busy having fun instead of working hard". Well the same thoughts are hitting me now. I could have ..... I feel abit sad that I didn't do better and guilty that I didn't give the Challenge a "model" for the end shot. BUT I have learned so much about myself that I wouldn't change any of it for the world! The body changed a little, the lifestyle changed even more but my soul changed the most. Not something you can weigh or measure but WOW it feels great. I doubted my ability to change, maybe even feared what would happen if I did. So I started the challenge with tiny tiny steps. Kind of a wimpy way but one that worked for me. I fit it in where I could or where I dared. I evolved slowly and now that the 'end' is so near, I feel like I am ready to start. I have always been a FULL time 'Mom','wife'and teacher. No room for anything else. Slowly over the last 16 weeks I have discovered that with effort I can not only SQUEEZE "me" in there, I can actually give up abit of the other things without the world caving in and give "me" a real place on the priority list. I have met some great people during this journey. People I am sure will always be on my contact list. FRIENDS! Thanks for hanging in there and sticking it out. The Challenge part might be over but the Transformation is only just beginning! Rob, you are right, "LIFE IS GOOD!"

Date:: 17 Jun 2003
Time:: 00:24:10

Todays Journal

Hi, It's me. I get the computer for a minute. Sorry, but it is the last days of school and my kids have been finishing up projects all day and night. I am so busy with everything that I am eating anything again. I know I am blowing it but I will get back on track soon. Now I hope. Really it is nothing compared to 12 weeks ago but now if I blow one meal I feel bad. So busy I can only hope to keep my head above water for another day or two.Ball is nearly finished. Just one daughter in the finals(Thank God). My eldest baby is leaving for England to "live", in two days. Sniff sniff. But hey. School is over in two weeks and then I can relax and be poor. Poor people can't afford food and then think how much weight I will loose! Take care all. P.S. So glad you bought a new bra there kiddo. I told you it would make a world of difference! Isn't life grand?

Date:: 19 Jun 2003
Time:: 18:53:30

Todays Journal

Hi, So tired last night that I actually went to bed with my clothes on and didn't wake up to take them off till 4 in the morning. I can't wait for summer holidays. Well I said goodbye to my daughter a couple of hours ago. Sniff sniff. ...But life goes on and I wish her the best and can't wait til she returns one day. With these busy days and nights I have even found it hard to fit in my walk( and I love my walk). Why is the assessment always when I feel my fattest? Ah so what hey. I am doing better than I ever was.. I just need more time in between assessments than everyone else thats all. Check me out in a couple more months. Hey we should have a reunion just to see who stayed with the program. Wish I could see you all tomorrow night but I have two other events I am going to be at. Sorry. Take care all.

Date:: 21 Jun 2003
Time:: 01:11:16

Todays Journal

Hi all! Well I didn't gain weight and I guess thats good. Lost 2 but it was muscle apparently. Well thats what I get for being so out of control. With only 4 weeks left I think I will give it my all and see what happens. School is nearly finished, ball is nearly finished,and there will be time for the gym. I hope the meeting was good for those who went. Sorry I missed it but ..... This body is getting bathing suit worthy, well one piece worthy at least. Gail

Date:: 22 Jun 2003
Time:: 16:43:14

Todays Journal

Howdy All, This weekend has been, well, ....and it's not over yet. BASEBALL is finished. The last child finally lost a game and now all of them are finished. Whew! I am a tad bit worried about keeping on schedule with my eating when school is over next week. I won't be at school being regulated by bells and breaks. Will it be easier or more difficult? I guess I'll see soon. I plan on making my own schedule. I am not a schedule person though. I will do just fine. I like the feeling of not having to wear a sweater or jacket everyday to hide my gut. It feels REAL NICE being able to go out in tshirt and jeans. Free. So I don't want to give that up. Anyways I must get going. The weekend isn't over yet. Take care.

Date:: 24 Jun 2003
Time:: 00:13:53

Todays Journal

Hey All, Doing fine today. Can't say much. Ate good and had a small walk. Will see Neaghn for my last 'plan' on Wednesday. Sniff sniff. I hate to see this end. I hope we can stay in contact. Write more tomorrow (at least I'll try) Take care

Date:: 25 Jun 2003
Time:: 23:50:19

Todays Journal

Hi Gang, Guess what? Hey Leona I bought a bikini. I told myself that if I lost 20 pounds that I would buy one. Well I did. It won't be going on this bod but I bought one. Of course mine only cost 29.99 at Costco. I may wear it up at my moms. An isolated pool in a private backyard. I will really have to lather on the sunscrean though. This tummy hasn't seen the sun in 20 years. Crappy news today. I got my hours cut drastically and will be leaving my school now. I was so sad this afternoon. I really LOVE my school and it's staff. Everything... but things happen for a reason and I just have to believe that something good will come out of this. Sniff sniff. Had my daughters ball wind up tonight. I sat there the whole evening and only ate the vegies that I brought and 1/2 a weiner. Got my last "Plan" today and will try to get to it. Take care All.

Date:: 28 Jun 2003
Time:: 18:36:14

Todays Journal

Hi All, Sorry I havn't written for a couple of days. I just couldn't write. I am pretty disgusted with myself and then it makes it hard to write. It feels like I have been looking at someone who is falling off the wagon. I keep wondering why they don't stop eating and sitting there watching t.v.But the person is me and my head is screaming get up off your #*&( and get out and do something but my body is not responding. So how could I write something positive and uplifting if I couldn't even "uplift" my bottom? Well this morning I "uplifted". I walked, cleaned my van in and out, a quick shopping trip, met girlfriends for a coffee(I only drank my water)AND ate what is on plan. It is only 4:30. I am back! Yeah! Just a minor glich in my life. so now all is well. I just have to work off the last few days. Heading up to Kamloops for a week(Good thing I have my head back on straight, so I can fend off my mothers cooking!) Lots of walking and swimming. I promise to be real good. Take care and see you next week.

Date:: 03 Jul 2003
Time:: 22:45:10

Todays Journal

Hi gang, I am just back from my little getaway up to Kamloops. I had a great time. I bought more clothes in this short time than I have in two years. It is so much fun to try on (and buy) clothes when things fit. Wait til the bills come in. I wore my new bikini in my parents back yard by the pool. A safe place cause parents never laugh at their daughters for being pudgy in the tummy. I creamed my great white girth in tons of sun block and still became the Great Pink Budha that night. Oh that poor tummy. It hasn't seen the light in over twenty years. Tried walking as much as I could but that was only to wear off my mom's cooking so I doubt if I lost any. Just keeping myself the same was a challenge but I think I may have succeeded. Great time any ways. I hope everyone else is hanging in during these hot days. Night night

Date:: 06 Jul 2003
Time:: 23:34:04

Todays Journal

Hi gang, was at a fund raiser carwash to help raise money for my sons trip to Japan in a couple of weeks. Great day but my right arm is very sore. Washing cars is hard on the back and arm and my feet will never 'un pickle'. But it was sunny and fun so 'meh'(as my teens would say.)I was laughed at as I ate my whole red pepper like an apple and my chicken cubes. Well they laughed until they tasted my chicken and then they were too busy stuffing their mouths to laugh. I actually had to fight to get my share. I have managed to walk everyday for the last 7 days and even fit in a workout in my home exercise room several times. It is funny that now that the end is near I feel more....not sure ...more like this is a life style . I am laughing pretty hard now. 15 weeks and 2 days and the light bulb goes on. It is still a slow process with many pit falls but I am confident that I will always climb out. Off to cream my poor sun burn. Take care all.

Date:: 07 Jul 2003
Time:: 21:50:10

Todays Journal

Hi Gang, Enjoyed what is to be the last good weather day of the week. I walked and then took the boys to White Rock and Peace Arch Park to take photos for a photo tourism journal that is being made by the group and teachers going to Japan. What a great day for this. I can't wait to see the finished product. (Just a little hint for you scrapbooking nuts.... Free 60 day trial download of www.AuntAbigail.com , it is a fabulous site to make your photo albums.)Try It! Anyways.... Broke down and had some bacon on my lettuce and tomatoe sandwich. Do you know how long it has been since I tasted bacon? Hmm Well I guess you do. It was enjoyable and I finished dinner with another fast walk to work it off. I think the house will need to be cleaned soon. This good weather is just not condusive to staying in and cleaning. Well maybe tomorrow....

Date:: 08 Jul 2003
Time:: 22:24:44

Todays Journal

Hi gang, I am sitting here wanting to unbutton my pants. Wow I haven't had that feeling in a long time. I bet it was that bacon I had on my sandwich yesterday. Ahh. I need to go for another walk. Not going to happen tonight though. I will walk faster and longer tomorrow morning. I think I have been "tasting" too many cheat items these last weeks and it is catching up to me. I guess I wanted to believe that I could sneak back to my old ways and no body would know. Well it seems that 'this' body does know. Ahhh! You would think I would have learned by now.....

Date:: 09 Jul 2003
Time:: 16:55:39

Todays Journal

Hi Gang, Well I know why I was feeling yucky yesterday. I am sick. I am floating between the chair, the rest room and bed. Oh well with only water passing these lips I won't be gaining weight. Looks great outside which makes it even worse to feel like I do. Hopefully I will feel better tomorrow and look better too. Crazy person that I am though I still managed to go for my walk this morn. Thought I was going to die, but good punishment for eating that bacon I guess. Gail

Date:: 14 Jul 2003
Time:: 19:33:33

Todays Journal

Hi gang, back from Sicamous. I had a very busy time up there. I was helping the 'Wedding Planner from Hell'. The room looked beautiful when we were finished but at what cost? Anyways... Home now and slept til noon today. I was really exhausted. I must get down to my essay next. What to say.....

Date:: 15 Jul 2003
Time:: 21:28:29

Todays Journal

Hi gang, or should I say mini gang. Went to check up on the 'gang' and found that many have left us. I hope they find what they are looking for. Today was another busy day. I grabbed carrots to take with me cause I knew I would be late for lunch. A learned habbit. It seems I just tend to grab a vegie to eat in the car just incase...See I learned something in these 16 weeks. Hey! We bought an elipticle trainer. (I think thats what it is called) It is so cool. Now I can workout on this. Of course I stepped onto it and it went backwards and I fell down on my butt. Now I have a huge bruise on my thigh and another between my shoulder blades. I am sure I am the only one in the world who can injure herself on an exercise machine. Anyways... It is really a neat unit. I still prefer to walk outside but this thing is great for night and rainy days. Who would ever have guessed that I would get excited over a piece of exercise equipment! Huh! Goes to show you that an old dog can learn new tricks.

Date:: 21 Jul 2003
Time:: 02:01:46

Todays Journal

Hey gang.. If there are any of you left. Had a super weekend and came back alive! Barely. Went river rafting on the Nehatletch(don't know how to spell it) River with my son and his friends from the band. Ya. My raft flipped right at the start of the worst rapids and I got slammed into a rock and lost my grip on the overturned raft. I went under over and through the rapids for a while before swimming towards another raft that was going by and was rescued by who other than my son. He was on another raft and saw this poor woman in the rapids and thought "That poor lady is not going to make it out alive." Then he saw it was me and leaned out very far with his paddle and I just barely caught hold of it. And I mean barely. He pulled me in and I rode out the remainder of that rapid lying on the bottom of their raft. Got back into my raft at the next stop and continued on my merry ,All be it a bit shakier, raft trip. All that took place within the first 4 min. of the 3 hour raft trip. I was one tired, beat up, old lady by the end of that day. I did finish the whole trip even though they ask several times during the trip if you want to stop and take the bus back. I was surprised how many do. I am too stubborn. I was close but well you know the boys would have never let me live it down. I DID IT! Will I ever do it again.... NO! But God it truly was fun. So today I drove home and am only now starting to feel muscles that I didn't know I had. But thats okay.... At least I can feel them. Oh ya the dinner was BbQ chicken breast...Perfect. Life is Good!

Date:: 23 Jul 2003
Time:: 15:17:40

Todays Journal

Hi all, What a busy few days. I went to the beach to watch my hubby go sailing. I sat on the beach and turned red. I can't believe how red! I was wearing my bikini. I finally said to myself " Who the *&^7 cares!" . There are other ladies in bikinis and I never stop and think OOO she shouldn't do that. So Leona I went out in public. I searched the headlines for any stories of frightening beach sightings, but there were none. I guess I went unnoticed. Of course now with the burn I look like the Great Red Balluga. Now I might frighten everyone. I will stay hidden for a few days. Well I still have to spend a day with the kids at Playland...

May 2

Hi all, Ate well, feel good. Still hanging on to the steering wheel. Got great advice to just let go of the #$&##$ car and say goodbye. I will think about that. Good to know someone is out there helping. Thanks Leona. Met James at the Pro D Day conference. He's been pretty busy too. I guess he has a car going down hill too. Maybe everyone has there own runaway car?! Hey a light bulb moment.. I will give that some thought too. Gone again for the weekend to Kamloops (cause I love the drive so much!) so I'll check in on Sunday. Take care all and keep those cars serviced!

May 1

I was trying to think of a way to describe how my typical day goes. Are you ready.... Have you ever needed to push your car because it stalled? You know how you put your one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the door frame and then start to walk and push and hope you can push hard enough for the car to get moving. Once the car starts to move it gets easier to push . Soon you are running and waiting for the perfect moment to make that jump into the seat and gain control of the car and steer it to safety. Well imagine the car at that point, only now the road starts to go down hill a bit. The car is going faster and faster and you are running as fast as you can hanging on to the steering wheel for dear life. It is going too fast to manage that burst you need to jump in. In fact it is going so fast that at any moment you are going to loose it and fall flat on you face as the car zooms down the hill and over the cliff. Well I know it sounds weird but it is a good description of what life is like some days (most days). I can only hope that I get some help along the way like the road leveling out. In the mean time I hang on and run as fast as I can! I know I am too stubborn to let go so I guess I will be running for awhile. I love this analogy. How was your day?

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APRIL JOURNALS

April 30

Out of control today. Ate well during day and then lost it in the evening. Too rushed with dance , ball and then gymnastics. Life is too busy.

April 29

Hi, Great day but blew it at dinner. Nothing in the house for me to eat so ate badly. I will go grocery shopping and stock up. I found some old lettuce and picked out the good stuff, added the leftovers of every veggie in the house which wasn't much and created a salad for lunch tomorrow. I will get the freezer stocked up again for just such emergencies.

April 28

Hello. Another busy day. Managed to get in my 30 on the cycle and took advantage of the sun and got in a quick 1.5 k power walk. Never had time for dinner so broke down at 8:15(on the way home from ball) and got a Fajita from McDonalds. Oh My ?!@# they are awful. Just chicken with the tiniest bit of chopped up peppers. I am sure there was nothing unhealthy about it though. I hate having nothing in the house. Groceries tomorrow for sure!

April 27

Hi guys, I had a nice weekend away. The eating went a bit off plan. It's hard to eat in restaurants and stay on plan completely. I also had beer on Friday night. We were in a pub watching the game ...What can I say? But there I was on Saturday night at 10:00 in the fitness room of the hotel cycling for my 30. I was so ready to give up on this whole idea of "transforming" myself and there I am cycling. Sat. night in a hotel with my hubby and I am cycling!. I think that no matter how much I stray from "The Path" enough of the Plan is ingrained in me to set me back on it. This is so weird. Monday is a new week.

April 24

Hi guys, not much to write today. I am breaking down. I just can't seem to get back on plan. Not sure why. I was doing okay before but ....I wish I was Oprah and had my own trainer and cook. Yah well. I am (or was) determined to do this without spending a penny( cause I don't have one) and I wanted to prove that it could be done that way so others could say "She did it, so I can too", but now I am thinking that maybe I don't have the will power that I thought I did. There is so much "Life" happening in my life now and it is hard to think about diet and exercise. The brain says "Do IT" but the rest of me says eat a cookie and go to bed. Money really does make the world go 'round. I hope this is just a slump. I'll hang in there, if only for the great gang I have met. Would they still drop me a line if I gave up?) Would they give up if I did?) I am supposed to be in Tamilee's face and here I am...What an inspiration I am!) Ahh. I will go ride the cycle. I can at least still do that for a while. Take care all.

April 22

Hi, I'm back on the plan after the holiday. Just realized that I can't make it to Sat. night or the hike. I am so sad. I will miss you all. Enjoy and enjoy again!

April 21

Hi Gang! How was your Easter break? Well...One daughter has momo and my son has the flu. Maybe Mono too. They slept ALL weekend. (Literally) At least' I ' had a nice visit with my parents. Oh my, did I eat things that I shouldn't have. Let's try to forget that part! I am so pumped about starting phase two. I got these rubber band things from my sister and can't wait to try them. She also gave me her lighter weights. She has turned into a gym freak up there in Kamloops. I am so proud of her! Lets Go! Take care everyone...

April 17

Hi everyone! I am ready for phase two. I am more settled in my head about who is responsible for my change. I needed someone else to lead me before. John got me started and then I thought I needed him or the other BIM's to keep me going. That was phase one. Now I realize that it is "me" that I need, to continue and succeed. I still really want the support of as many people as I can and this Challenge group has given me that support. Thank-you BIM and the gang. Now if I can just make it through this Easter break visiting my mom. She is the traditional European Grandma. EAT EAT EAT. Help! I will miss a few journal entries while I am fighting for my life! I will tell you how it went when I return. Happy Easter Everyone. Stay strong!

April 16

Should we be writing journal entries? Is there a problem with this new site? I hope it gets fixed this weekend or I guess I will just email friends to let them know how my days are going. Hmmmm.

April 15

Went in for my assessment today. Lost 91/2 pounds and gained 3 of muscle. I guess I lost more than I thought. I was thinking maybe 5 or 6 pounds. Anyways.... Robert was after me and WOW! I won't spoil his surprise. Read his journal. He is amazing. Congratulations to everyone who has gotten through the first phase. (and continued support to those still working on it). With the weight loss and the run under my belt I feel more mentally ready to continue. I feel quite letdown with myself for not having tried harder with the exercise part but I guess I just didn't know how to really do it. I still don't but I feel more determined. I will find away to motivate myself and find away to learn how to do the exercises correctly. There are so many other challenges involved in this transformation. Heading to Kamloops to visit my sister(and her gym.) The owner up there will take me through everything. Yes . There is a God. Seek and you shall find. Wow I am getting so spiritual! Anyways guys. I need to go find something to wear tomorrow 'cause my pants are getting all bunchy down there. First Robert, now me ....Tamilee, Karen ,Leona and Jane... You guys were looking bunchy too. John what is going on? LOL. Smile!

April 15

Wow am I ever stiff today. Actually this morning was fine but by late afternoon I was hurting. If I keep moving I'm not too bad but if I sit still for 20 min. and then get up and walk ...Well I look like the guy in that commercial where he has just done a marathon and she is on the couch in the other room and says Come here Rocket man.Ya I really can't lift my feet. It is so funny. Well I go in for my assessment tomorrow and then I guess I will see just what is going on with this bod. I sucked in my gut at the first photo (even if you can't tell) So sucking in won't help this time. Well I will share with yu even if it is bad and I'm embarrassed. I feel better at least. Take care gang and I hope the journals get printed soon. I have not been posted for 1 week now. Good new site though.. Gail

April 13

I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT! I completed the SunRun! I mostly walked it but I finished it running. I have to check my time in the paper for sure but I think I completed it in under 90 min. I DID IT! With my gimpy hip. With support from a few of the "50" and my family I gave it a try (I was ready to give up on it this year) I am so happy. I am certain I won't be able to walk tomorrow but who cares. It was GREAT seeing some of the gang at the potluck. I had a super time comparing notes, stories, recipes, frustrations and hopes. I am glad I have met so many fabulous people. They (You) have made me feel like getting back on track again with some exercise. Thanks. I love the support and friendship. Congratulations to all the ladies for braving the stage last night. A real milestone in your lives. Take care

April 12

Hey, Just got home from a fund raiser "Pub Night". I ate two plates of salad and drank water. Not quite 25 dollars worth but ..... I walk the SunRun tomorrow and I am not sure how I'll do . Oh well I at least have to try. I wish I had some ideas of some other exercises or something. I am really discouraged but I guess this is part of the challenge. Figure it out yourself.! Thanks to those of you who have emailed me your support and encouragement while I deal with this stupid hip. I won't give up I just need some help getting going again( if that is possible). See you at the PotLuck . Hope the site gets working again. Gail

April 10

Hi, Good Luck to the Max Muscle ladies. I hope you all get what you are looking for. Sorry I can't be there but look forward to seeing everyone on Sunday. Ate a bowl of my famous Ham/Pea soup last night. First real break from the diet. Boy did I regret it all day today. I feel yucky and my poor stomach ......I stayed with broth today and hope that tomorrow will feel better. A lesson that my body prefers the vegie PLAN more. Don't cheat. It is not worth it.

April 9

Hi anyone, I am not sure where I am with this challenge thing. The eating is going good, I mean I am on track and eating only the good (right) stuff and being very successful there but this exercising just isn't working. I can't seem to find the time to do it. I thought if I just did it in my home I could fit it in whenever but I never have even 30 min. I need to stretch and warm up and the pain just turns me off (Ya, the shot in the hip did NOTHING!) My head says it is okay to work out. There will be no long term damage done by it, but the rest of me says this sucks and I just go find something else to do. I am feeling very discouraged with that part. Then I stop and think... I am eating better, Oh my God so much better. I am feeling better. I am loosing some weight (though I think it may be only 5-6 pounds) but that is less than a month ago. So I am making a change all be it slow and slow!. The eating has become a habit already and I guess when the ball season ends and there is more time I will get more serious about exercising. Waiting for my new updated plan to see if John has any ideas for me other than a bullet to the head(Only a joke John). The gym teacher from the high school will show me some exercises that I can do without causing further pain to my hip and hopefully that will keep me sort of on the 'plan'. I feel bad that I won't be Bodiesnmotion's poster girl but I am my poster girl. Taking it a day at a time......

April 8

Hey All! Oh my I am so sorry for not writing. The days have just gone by. Terrible news in my family and I have to say this challenge just seemed so unimportant for awhile. It just seemed trivial in the scheme of things and I dropped out for a couple of days. Well not really, I just got quiet. I am here today though feeling fat and unfit. Yes focusing on myself seems selfish but at the same time shouldn't I be looking out for my health the best I can. My process has been much slower than the rest of you but maybe that’s the way it has to work with me. It doesn't fit any other way. A little is better than nothing. I think after the assessment next week and the lack of big results(from lack of exercising) I will be a little down but really .... in the scheme of things ...It's okay. I can only go up right. Way to go Tamilee with your reps. I kind of gave up and you have put me to shame. I have asked my son to ask his gym teacher to give me some pointers about the weights because I obviously am not doing things right. If I just would win

the lottery.... Write tomorrow for sure.

April 1

Hi everyone... anyone. Do people actually read these? besides some of the "50") I got a call from my sister in Kamloops and she is going to a gym up there now. It sounds like a great place. Now I really have to keep up with my Plan. I mean if she can do it..... I will win this one sis. Want to bet? Hey have a beer Donna, and a piece of cake and some ice cream..... Only kidding. You go girl! Wow I ate my salad today without dressing ... Am I going crazy? It really wasn't bad. No Really! Well no arm swinging tonight. I did Cardio Funk in the class I work in. That was a blast. So I just used some of the moves tonight while I watched TV. I don't know which looks more strange. A mom swinging arms back and forth or a mom doing the 'Fish' and 'Wave" . You have to watch this video. What a blast! Classroom aerobics at it's best (and no hip activity to cause me pain) Tamilee, I know what you mean about the kids wanting your protein shake. My son is drinking it now and when the exchange student was here he drank it every night too. Is nothing sacred any more. I can't wait for the first Monday of the month to buy some more at Gators! Take care.

April 2

Boy it's late. I should be in bed. Did all my upper body exercises and even went on the bike for 1/2 hour. I know I will regret it tomorrow. I called the Dr. and made an appointment to try the Steroid shot in the hip. I really didn't want to but I thought I better try it now to see if it works before the Sun Run. I sure hope it works cause I am passed frustrated and entering depressed. Do you know how much your hips moves from....... EVERYTHING? Ah don't worry, I'll get over it. Just smile and forge on. Ignore my whining I just needed to vent. I'm happy now. See, I'm smiling! Take care all. Goodnight.

April 3

Hi all. A busy evening driving and watching the dance teams perform at a dance festival eve. Not ballet stuff. This is high school Hip hop and Break Dancing. Wow Do those kids have energy! I love watching my son spin on his head and flip his body into shapes not meant for the human body. Only kidding. These events are so fun and the energy, support and respect felt throughout the evening is very refreshing. The team went out for McDonalds after and I just chatted and drank my water. Funny how I wasn't even feeling deprived....I am really treating myself right now though to a handful of trail mix. MMM it's good. I hope it's okay. Cranberries, raisins, pumpkin seeds and sunflower seeds. Just a little handful. I know it isn't on my plan but John you said a "treat" was in order once in awhile. I have been so, so good this week and this is healthy stuff, right? Bought new runners last night so they can break in a bit before the Sun Run. Get my shot tomorrow and I am counting on it to make me pain free. I sure hope it works. I am going to do what Ron is doing and use smaller weights. I feel like the weight s are so daunting that I am afraid I will find excuses not to try it again. I feel like such a wimp not being able to do 3 sets. One day, but just not now. Off to bed as it is only minutes away from tomorrow. Take care and stay strong.

April 4

Hi guys, good day. I got the stitches out of my face (Yeah I can shower) and I got a shot in the hip. It hurts like I got kicked but with luck my hip should be pain free or at least, less painful. I feel like I can finally get going again. I have been at a stand still for two weeks. I also learned that though it is painful to move, I am not doing any permanent damage, so I can keep going as long as I can stand the pain. I was under the impression that I could do damage if I didn't rest it. It just doesn't heal if I don't rest it. Two dif things. Well Tomorrow I walk.... Long and fast. Let's see what I can do with only 1 week to the sun run. I enjoy reading everyone's journals and am so thrilled for all your accomplishments. I do feel like I am looking at all of you through a window from the outside though. . Not going to the gym certainly makes me feel 'out of the loop'. I miss out on the chats and team spirit. I think that is why I spend so much time reading your letters. I am such a social person and hanging out alone in my exercise room isn't very fulfilling. How do the rest of you do it who don't go to Max? Oh, I will be fine and continue to do it this way just cause that's the way it is. I carried all my food with me today and ate where ever I was. On the side of the road as my parking meter expired, I stopped in and had lunch with my hubby at work. and snacked in the underground parking lot before the last Dr. app. .Everything according to plan and on time! Success! Why my jeans are still tight I just don't know. Sorry for going on and on... Goodnight and Good Luck

April 5

Hi All! Great Day. Bought new pants and had to buy a smaller size. Two sizes! I don't believe it. I swear I don't see a dif. I even bought two different styles of pants from two different stores to see if it was really true. Well, I had to ....... Then went to a party tonight and hardly ate anything off the table (and there was lots). I ate a big bowl of veggie soup just before we left Stuck to a handful of raw veggies and 3 pieces of sushi and water cleverly disguised in a beer cup. That was it for the whole night. It was still enjoyable and I am very pleased with myself. Good Night all (actually it is good morning again. I will get to bed before midnight one day!)

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MARCH JOURNALS

March 1

Saturday.... everyone in the diet world knows that you cant start a diet on a Saturday. Hmmm, Of course it is the 1st of the Month and that IS a good day to start but really, to make it perfect it should be the 1st and a Monday. Hmmm. I know I am supposed to be pumped and ready to Change. I am .... Really. Well, actually....maybe. Only Kidding. I was just testing myself. I am ready. No I AM READY. Got out of bed. (Does that count as physical exercise?) Drank my water... very important, and headed to my walking group. Yup! Joining up was a good idea. Not only for the exercise but for the "ME TIME" Oh boy I am going to like this!

March 2

Go go from first thing in the morning to afternoon. Went for a walk just because I promised myself that I would everyday even if it was only for 1/2 an hour. It is that precious "Me time". I need to think hard about what other exercise I want to get into. Walking is for my Mental health, now I need something for the Bod! How will I fit it in between work and driving kids EVERYWHERE? I will fit it in I just need to think about it. There has to be a way!

March 3

Weekdays are so much easier to watch what you eat. That's why diets should start on a Monday. It should be a law! Work and the short coffee and lunch breaks are perfect for a reduced meal plan, and there is no time for snacking. Well, except for the candy bowl on the secretary's desk. Walked after school. I am glad I offered to be the adult sponsor at the high school for the walkers in the Vancouver Sun Run because it MAKES me walk. I am sure that I would go home and drive kids places or watch TV. or clean or eat or.......... Yup Walking is really the best!

March 4

I did nothing today! Well that's not true ..I did tons as they say . Just none of it for me. I promised myself that I would, at the very least go for a walk every day. Well here it is 11pm and I'm just getting home. Worked, went to 2 appointments, and watched a band concert. Well the concert was enjoyable and that was something for me. I ate well today though and I guess I have to pat myself on the back for something. I make up my next days food the night before so it is ready and on a day like today that is a VERY smart thing to do. Yogurts are ready, Giant salad ready, fruit in the bowl, Chicken cooked and in little baggies, cucumber sliced and also in little baggies( Thank God for Little Baggies) Hey isn't that a song? "Thank Heaven for little Girls" ..Well pretty close . I am very tired. Can't decide where I should go to "get fit". This is a hard decision. A gym, pool, aerobics, ahhhh. Somewhere the kids can hang out too?? Will that make me go more often? I mean I drive them to meet their friends at one place all the time and they have been begging me to get them a membership. But wow, It's pricey! Do I try the gym down the street cause its close and its where some of the other 'challenge' people are going? Can't decide yet. I will make my mind up soon. I need to check out the pool gyms next( I have been told they are the best bang for my dollar.) I just know that I don't want to be at a place that has ladies in fancy outfits and guys with no shirts . Stop . Wait What was I thinking... Where are the guys with no shirts? I promise myself and YOU that I will walk tomorrow. I don't get to see John for my 'Plan" until Friday so I'm just doing what I feel is the right thing. That apple pie in the fridge is looking right. Only kidding, I'm off to bed. Sleeping is good when will power is weakening. Besides I am actually too tired to eat if you can believe that. Good Night

March 5

Here it is 10:30 and once again I have just walked in the door. Yesterday I signed off saying I felt bad that I had not at least walked for 1/2 hour as I had promised. I was in my bed, exhausted yet feeling so guilty about my unfulfilled promise to myself and to the "challenge" that I actually got out of bed and got on the exercise bike and peddled for 20 min. (Well, I have confirmed that I hate the exercise bike) and then jogged on the spot in my room for 10 min. Then I went back to bed with my heart rate up, my skin 'glowing' and much more relaxed...AND I hadn't even had sex!

I am feeling a little unsure about how this whole challenge thing is going to go. I mean, first I didn't have a photo in one of the squares and my bio and before shots weren't up yet but now I don't even have a square! I am down to a line at the bottom of the page site. A LINE! I am battling for my life here. I'm afraid tomorrow I'll disappear completely. As Peter Pan said when Tinker Bell was fading away "If you believe in her, clap your hands". I hope somebody claps for me...

March 6

My Birthday! Well I guess someone clapped for me, 'cause I have a picture now. What a birthday present! Thanks Guys. A Great Day. My wonderful hubby got me beautiful roses (low cal) and made a tasty salad for me to take to work. I have managed two days without a candy from the office candy bowl AND I walked after school. (The Sun Run date is getting closer.) Today wasn't an exciting day, but a good one. I'll take it. Got calls from everyone in the family. Getting up every time the phone rang was quite the workout on it's own. Even got a birthday greetings from Bodies N Motion. P.S. Thanks for the photo! I meet with John tomorrow for my "PLAN" and can't wait to see if I can make it work.

March 18

Hi,( I say sheepishly),Read yesterdays journal and feel pretty stupid. AND it's out there for anybody to read. I just smiled through the evening and grumbled on the inside. I rode my cycle for 12 min. hard! and then had a steam in our steam shower, that seemed to calm me down. This morning a woke up feeling fine... and stupid. I had a successful day today. My parents were in town and I made them a wonderful roast beef dinner and I had a wonderful fillet of cod dinner. I really enjoyed the change from the chicken. I love the forum and Thank-you John for the answer on the extra veggies. I promise to try not to go crazy anymore. Take care gang!

March 19

Hi everyone or no one, since the site is down) All went well today. My meals were a little scattered because I took the kids to Playdome. I did pack a yogurt and a baggie of baby carrots. It got me through . I sat on the bench right beside the mini donut venue. I inhaled the smell for three hours. How many calories is that? We came home late and everyone was starving. I had to rustle together a quick dinner of perogies and onions and bacon for everyone AND I still managed to chop up a bunch of vegies and make a quick stir fry for me,. and hubby. and exchange student. I was happy. Started my second week of "the Plan Exercises". Did two sets and 'yup' the face does start to contort like those weight lifters I've seen on t.v. Does the second set have to have as many as the first.? I was hoping first set 15, second set 4 maybe 5.. Only kidding. Kinked my neck doing the cross crunches. Will I ever get it right? I think I can ,I think I can. Night night.

March 20

Another scattered day of eating. More touristy stuff with the exchange kids. Sorry. I got in the breakfast okay and took along a yogurt and bag of carrots like yesterday. . A normal good dinner. And best of all I don't feel like I am being tortured by not eating what everyone else gets. My cooking is very tasty. I can't wait to go to 'cooking class' at Gators. I saw the word BAKE in John's memo to me. Bake MMMMMM. I'm off to bed cause it is passed midnight. Take care Y'all.

March 22

Hi everyone! Finally sunny in Surrey and we need to be at soccer in Burnaby where it rains like crazy. Ahggg. More touring with the exchange students so eating was definitely not on schedule. Tried my best. I brought a banana and baggie of carrots and kept to that with the exception of a McDonalds yogurt. How much is that over my daily....? Better than a Mcchicken though. Great veggie chicken soup for dinner mmmm. Tomorrows another day . Bye

March 23

Hi gang! I actually can't wait for school to start. Of course 1 week in the class and I'm sure to be singing a different tune. This spring break was too busy! Went out for sushi tonight with our exchange student. I was so thrilled that I managed a restaurant meal into my 'plan'. I just traded my Tempura for everyone's veggies. It was great. It's funny, I don't feel like I have lost any weight (I don't have a scale) but I just feel good tonight. Tomorrow starts my 3rd week on the plan. I was just hoping for the push and support to start a change with my life. Do you know how many times I have had to stop myself from grabbing a cookie, cracker, bag of popcorn etc. I wasn't hungry or anything, it was just habit. I just never gave it much thought before now. I am beginning to take control. 1 week ago I was mad about not being able to eat pizza with the family...Mad? I was pissed!. Tonight I laughed as I reread that entry and thought how much food had controlled my feelings. Today I feel like I am gaining the control. Even if I don't loose much weight or it takes longer than most of you, I know that the 'bod' is going to be healthier. That makes this all worth it. Thanks John for taking a chance on me! ( I am keeping this entry on my fridge incase I start to feel otherwise.)

March 24

Hi.. This was definitely a more hectic day then I imagined. No time for anything but work and kids. Tomorrow looks even worse. I was really excited about hooking up with Tami for a walk and that doesn't seem possible now. I am too too tired and nothing is looking good so I will go to bed . Tomorrow will look better ...Right? Night

March 27

Hi gang. Sorry that I missed a couple of days of journals. Things have just been too busy. It's after midnight now and I have to be up at 5:30! Our exchange student leaves in the morning and things should start to settle down around here. I hope. Got a call on my machine to make an assessment appointment. Hey I'm only into my 3rd week. I don't really want to go in 'cause I don't think I have lost any weight. that would be me though... eat nothing and gain weight .How embarrassing! I will call on Monday after my Dr's visit to see what's up with my hip. The pain is really bugging me. I have done nothing that involves moving it i.e.. walking, cycling, squats for this whole week. Ignoring it didn't work, doing nothing doesn't seem to be working either so now I'll call in the professional. Let you know as soon as I do. Night

March 28

Hi Guys,

I had today off to take care of some medical stuff. Guess what? I have Bursitis in my hip and I have been told to rest (no walking, cycling etc for a couple months. Can you believe that? The Sun Run just 2 weeks away! I took this whole week off of any Hip activity and was hoping that would help. .. But months! Yeah ..NO I will just up the Advil I guess. I could have a couple of shots in the hip to get me through the Sun Run but I think I will just deal with the pain. I wouldn't mind missing out on the squats though. Back on track tomorrow. Our exchange student has left and I am looking forward to just 'regular' again. I hope I can sleep in tomorrow but this healthy eating thing has made me wake up early and ready to go everyday. Dam! Really ! I loved sleeping in. Looking forward to meeting everyone at Gators! I feel kind of weird looking at the Web site and seeing some of us missing. Its sad. I hope nobody else drops out. Please yell for support if you think you need it. We will stick together!

March 29

Hey All!. So glad I went to the meeting. It was great actually talking to real people. I learned quite a bit during the evening and wish I had stuck to the plan better. I think I understand better now how important sticking to it means. I was grabbing a bag of carrots thinking at least they were better than not eating or going to McDonalds. And while carrots was a better choice it still wasn't what my body should have had. I have learned that I really do need to plan better. I will make sure I have a proper day of meals with me at all times so I don't get stuck out with out a meal and grabbing something else or going without. I know John made it clear during our first talk how important the Plan was but like many things in my life I tend to fudge the rules (sorry for the word) a bit. I am worried about what I can do now that I know my hip is DUMB. John is looking into it cause he is so cool. I will try to keep moving. Maybe Armchair exercise! Chat later... Bye

March 30

Hi All, A good day. My hip is a little sore but I only walked 4.5 k's yesterday and did nothing today. I did do my weights. 3 reps was so hard. Those 5 pound weights are too much for me. I can do 3 reps of some things but stopped at 21/2 reps of another. I stopped because I was using my whole body to lift the weight and not my arms. Not good form. Hopefully by the end of the week I will have gained the strength to complete them all.

March 31

Yeah its Monday! I never thought I would ever say that. Monday means the start of a week of schedule and routine. Well sort of.... Eating fine today. I did my crunches and the arm weight lifting that I missed yesterday. I am frustrated about this pain in my hip. I can't drop by the pool till next week when I get the stitches out of my face. I stood around this evening just swinging my arms around for 15 min. trying to get my heart rate up. I am so pathetic! I can't lift a 5 pound weight over my head and now I can't walk. I have never laughed so hard. You have your work set out for you John. Can you really transform me!? I feel pretty good now, so I will go to bed. Take care everyone and I'll keep you up on the news of "the wimp"!

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