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The C H A L L E N G E	Cynthia Gilbert

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Date:: 06 May 2003
Time:: 17:46:48

Todays Journal

Monday, May 5, 2003.

A day in the hay. I took the day off because I thought I'd be too crippled after yesterday's run - but I'm not. Treated myself to a pedicure and a massage today. Feel like a real girl again. Back on track with the food, too. Ate all the right things but didn't get the meals in all on time, but tomorrow's another day. Still floating on a cloud! Weeded the front garden, did laundry and housework as well - and they call this a day off!! No real exercise in the gym though - taking it easy for at least another day to ensure I'm fully recovered. Phyllis called to schedule my next assessment - can't believe it's already here. (Phyllis, sorry about our call my phone ran out of juice midway through.) Just enjoying life today!!

Date:: 06 May 2003
Time:: 17:50:58

Todays Journal

Friday, May 2, 2003

Just another day. Everything went well. Was very careful with what I ate and made sure I went to bed early. Race day is only a couple of days away and I need to be fresh. No exercise today. In fact, I won't be doing anything until the marathon - conserving all my energy.

Date:: 06 May 2003
Time:: 17:53:25

Todays Journal

Saturday, May 3, 2003

1 more sleep until M day. I'm so excited, nervous, anxious, etc. We went down to the Plaza Nations today to pick up my race packet. I'm so excited!!! Strolled through the booths and checked out all the promos, tasted all the goodies (goodies such as yogurt, protein shakes, all healthy stuff). Went home and cooked up a whole wheat pasta dinner with ground turkey tomato sauce. I know pasta is off limits, but I made a concession since I know I'll need the carbs for tomorrow. I've been drinking so much water the last few days I feel as if I'm going to float. Early to bed: 4:45 comes way too early. Hope I can sleep.

Date:: 06 May 2003
Time:: 17:54:48

Todays Journal

Sunday, May 4, 2003

I FEEL AWESOME.

What an amazing day, what an amazing experience. I've just completed my first marathon (my first anything truth be known) and it was an awesome, overwhelming wonderful experience. I loved it.

Woke up at 4:45 and had my oatmeal and protein shake - it's really good and sustains me through the long runs. My wonderful husband was the driver and picked up my running buddies. Arrived at the Plaza of Nations at 6:15 for pre-race photos. Our race started at 7:15 and it seemed magical, each mile seemed to get easier for me, go figure. My husband and family met me at various places throughout the race and that really bolstered me. My last five miles went from a marathon pace to a tempo run - I couldn't believe how strong I was at the finish. I was passing other runners!! I felt like crying when I crossed the finish line and heard my name announced. Wow, I really, really did it!!

I have a medal!! The rest of the day was a blur. My husband bought me the most beautiful, gorgeous bouquet of flowers. I feel like a princess. I've been pampered all day. My mother also gave me beautiful flowers. Went for lunch with my friends an family and feel like I've been walking on air all day. Amazingly, nothing hurts: no aches, no pains, no strains.

Needless to say, today I didn't follow the plan. Sorry, will be back on track tomorrow. But I'm enjoying this day to the maximum!!

Date:: 07 May 2003
Time:: 10:02:32

Todays Journal

Tuesday, May 6, 2003

Today was a good day, but I still took it easy on the exercise. I did only 1/2 my upper body weights on the noon hour. I concentrated on doing some much needed core work and then really stretched. Tomorrow afternoon I'll finish off the upper body weights. I just didn't want to push myself too soon and cause an injury. Other than that, I ate well and got things pretty much back on track. I had an extra energy bar after work because I wanted to attend the last clinic and pick up my certificate and swap stories and experiences about race day. Pretty cool hearing everyone's stories. What a wonderful experience we've all had!

Date:: 08 May 2003
Time:: 10:53:42

Todays Journal

Wednesday, May 7, 2003

Not much to report today. I ate well and did the other 1/2 of my upper body weights during the lunch hour. I was hoping to run in the evening with the run club but for some strange reason I've been feeling very tired the last couple of days. Perhaps I'm still a little depleted from Sunday. I gave up on the Canuck game last night and did some chores to help combat the urge to snack. Wish I could figure out how to break the nighttime snacking ritual - it's a killer. I'm going to try to get back to the full exercise regime tomorrow. I think I should be fully recovered by then.

Date:: 09 May 2003
Time:: 10:28:42

Todays Journal

Thursday, May 8, 2003

Today I feel quite a bit more energetic. I managed to do a full lower body weight workout on my lunch hour and again some much neglected core work. My evening was chocked full but I was determined to go for my first run since the marathon. I ate 1/2 a protein bar in the late afternoon to make sure I was fuelled and then went home and ran for about an hour. Felt pretty good - no aches, no pains. Had a lovely halibut dinner and started packing for the weekend at the cabin. Now the real trial begins. The lake is our place to relax and unwind. Unfortunately, a lot of bad habits are associated with it: wine, beer, cocktails before dinner, cheesies, peanuts, pretzels, etc. This is going to be tough plus I've invited my parents up for a Mother's Day weekend and my brother and his wife and our son and his family. So needless to say it will be a weekend party and that will make it doubly hard. I've planned though. Knowing this, we bought some beautiful salmon to grill for those of us who are avoiding steaks, lots of veggies and fruit. I know fruit is a carb but I figure I'm better off nibbling on some grapes than stuffing my face with cheesies and chips. The most important thing is resolve - and remembering my next assessment is in a week. Where did the time go!!

Date:: 12 May 2003
Time:: 11:18:13

Todays Journal

Friday, May 9, 2003

Hello everyone, well today's Friday and the end of the work week. Did my weight training on the lunch hour and really like the way my arms and shoulders are looking. Things went well today although it was a long day. We drove up to the cabin after work so we really didn't get a proper dinner - shared a protein bar on the drive up. My parents were already up there and had prepared a light dinner for us since it was late when we arrive. After unloading the truck and then relaxing with a nice glass of wine, we had a lovely roasted fennel soup and salad and more wine. Very delicious - but not exactly plan perfect. Still, I'm not complaining in day's gone by, we would have grabbed a bag of chips or made some nachos so I still think this is much more healthful.

Date:: 12 May 2003
Time:: 11:18:39

Todays Journal

Friday, May 9, 2003

Date:: 12 May 2003
Time:: 11:21:29

Todays Journal

Friday, May 9, 2003

Hello everyone, well today's Friday and the end of the work week. Did my weight training on the lunch hour and really like the way my arms and shoulders are looking. Things went well today although it was a long day. We drove up to the cabin after work so we really didn't get a proper dinner - shared a protein bar on the drive up. My parents were already up there and had prepared a light dinner for us since it was late when we arrived. After unloading the truck and then relaxing with a nice glass of wine, we had a bowl of Mum's homemade roasted fennel soup and a salad and more wine. Very delicious - but not exactly plan perfect. Still, I'm not complaining - in the past, we would have grabbed a bag of chips or made some nachos so I still think this is much more healthful.

Date:: 12 May 2003
Time:: 13:46:24

Todays Journal

Saturday, May 10, 2002

What a beautiful day. Woke up this morning and the sun was shining and the lake was like glass. Had a healthy breakfast out on the deck overlooking the lake. Went hiking with my mother for a few hours while the guys worked on the dock. The first 1/2 of the hike is tough - straight up. I'm pretty impressed with my Mum - she didn't have any difficulty even though the ascent was tough and the terrain was slippery because of the shale. It was beautiful up at the lookout and very warm. Returned in time to make lunch and greet the rest of the guests. Had a healthy lunch of salad with grilled chicken. We had lots of beautiful fresh fruit to nibble on, but I have to confess to sneaking a few cheesies. Had salmon with baked yam fries for dinner and lots of veggies and wine. If you haven't tried the yam fries yet, try them, they're surprisingly good - even my daughter-in-law liked them! Glad I got my exercise today because I certainly overdid the food!! Really starting to worry that my next assessment won't be so good.

Date:: 12 May 2003
Time:: 18:54:16

Todays Journal

Sunday, May 11, 2003

Happy Mother's Day! Well, today was a write off for following the program. Started with a lovely Mother's Day brunch and pretty much carried on all day. No exercise either. We hated to leave the lake today because it was so beautiful up there and the weather was amzaing. Oh well, all good things must come to and end. Back to reality and the plan tomorrow. I need to learn a strategy for coping with "event" days - because so far I'm not doing so great with them.

Date:: 13 May 2003
Time:: 11:00:14

Todays Journal

Monday, May 12, 2003

Today I find myself wondering when does one become satisfied and accepting of the way they look and just live. I don't know where one should draw the line. I was good all day: ate properly and did my exercise but when I got home my husband wanted to sit down and have a glass of wine and some pre-dinner appies and chat about our days. At first, I said no. Then I thought about it and thought why can't I just enjoy this time. I'm fortunate that my husband wants to relax and spend time with me and be romantic. So, I did. I feel as though I'm at a crossroads and I'm not sure which way to turn. On the one hand, I want to achieve a certain look; and on the other, I think when do you just maintain and enjoy life. We only get one go around - is this it constantly worrying about every morsel of food we put in our mouths. I really have to decide where I'm at. It's important to me to be healthy, look good, have energy and feel vital but still live. The question I'm asking myself is: Am I there yet?

Date:: 14 May 2003
Time:: 10:08:05

Todays Journal

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Hello, despite yesterday's little personal reflection, I managed to eat clean today. Did 1/2 my upper body weights over the lunch hour. Due to time constraints, I have to cut the upper body weight training in two and do it in split sessions, otherwise I simply can't complete them properly over my lunch break and get in some core/ab work. I had planned to go running after work but somehow when I got home I just didn't feel like it. Really struggled last night over the dinner hour with the wine issue. Was really conflicted, but eventually talked myself out of it. Ate fish again. I think I'm eating some form of fish for dinner at least 4 times a week. I'd like to add shrimp or prawns to the menu. Is there any reason why we can't have them once a week if we don't have a cholesterol problem? We went for a walk after dinner, actually more of a stroll, around the neighbourhood and that was a nice way to end the evening. All in all, managed well today.

Date:: 15 May 2003
Time:: 11:12:42

Todays Journal

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

Today I had a chance to read some of the other challenger's journals. I was sad to see we're losing Tracy - I hope things work out for her. Congratulations to Jen on her pregnancy - what wonderful news! Today I had a good day - was full of energy and managed to eat properly and get in the other 1/2 of my upper body weight and core training during the lunch break. After work, I met the Surrey Run Club (great group)and did a 10K run. Home to shower and make dinner. Gotta say eating on the plan is so simple if you're prepared. Nuked some pre-grilled chicken breasts and steamed some veggies. Dinner made simple - really you can't even buy a frozen dinner that's any simpler. I have to say since I've been in the challenge, the time I spend cooking has been cut in at least 1/2. Gotta like that. Looking forward to the meeting at Gator's tomorrow night - see you all there.

Date:: 16 May 2003
Time:: 09:56:19

Todays Journal

Thursday, May 15, 2003

Today was another succesful day as far as eating on the plan went. I substituted an Asian spinach salad with grated carrots and shrimp for my usual dinner entree and it was sooooo good. I found the recipe in a Shape magazine and it conformed to my dinner option on the plan so I gave it a try. I think I could make it with grilled chicken as well for more substance. It's so wonderful to have a little variety. I really gave my legs a good workout today. I increased the weights on the leg press, and I know I'll really feel it tomorrow. I could barely lift the last set of weights. Went to Gator's last night for the nutrition workshop and was happy to hear that the subsitutions are okay as long as we do the homework and make sure we aren't straying off our plan nutritionally or adding more calories. Tomorrow is my next assessment with Neaghn and I'm quite anxious. I don't think I've had some same results as last time mainly because I've cut down on my cardio in the last three weeks to let my body recover from the intense training it had been in.

Date:: 20 May 2003
Time:: 10:49:23

Todays Journal

Friday, May 16, 2003

Had my assessment today and it wasn't what I was hoping for. I lost a 1 1/2 pounds but unfortnately my lean mass also decreased by 1%. Neaghn and I had quite a chat about it, and think the change is a result of not running so much. I guess you can't go from running 40+ miles a week to 6 or so and expect things to stay the same. So now I have to get back to running on a more scheduled basis again. Feel pretty depressed by this!

Date:: 20 May 2003
Time:: 10:52:25

Todays Journal

Saturday, May 17, 2003

Worked in the garden today turning the soil and mixing in compost. Hard work. My back and shoulders ache. Does this count as a work out. Bad day eating - depressed.

Date:: 20 May 2003
Time:: 10:56:58

Todays Journal

Sunday, May 18, 2003

Today was my anniversary. Went out for a run with the run club in the morning. Ran 8 miles. My husband had the opportunity to go fishing with my uncle so I went for lunch and shopping with my mother and to visit Granny. Nice day. Went out for an anniversary dinner in the evening - another bad eating day.

Date:: 20 May 2003
Time:: 11:03:12

Todays Journal

Monday, May 19, 2003

I'm seriously in trouble. My jeans feel snug. I'm so disappointed in myself. I'm on the edge: either I pulled things together NOW or ??

The whole family went fishing today. It was lovely on the water. Ate and drank too much and, of couse, no real exercise. Didn't catch any fish today but got some crabs. Had a salmon barbeque for dinner and basically blew the plan again. It's now or never starting tommorrow. I've wallowed in self-pity long enough. It's a vicious cycle - I feel depressed then I eat because I'm depressed and so on. Time to break the cycle - I've been here too many times to get sucked in again.

Date:: 21 May 2003
Time:: 09:46:50

Todays Journal

Tuesday, May 21, 2003

Good day today. Followed the plan and ate well. Dinner was a little late because my husband was late getting home. Did upper body weights on the lunch hour and noticed that I couldn't lift as much as last week. Had scheduled a run for after work, but cancelled because I think I have a cold coming on. Sore throat, feverish etc. so I took advantage of the extra time to go grocery shopping.

Date:: 22 May 2003
Time:: 12:05:17

Todays Journal

Wednesday, May 21, 2003

A so/so day. Did well during the day but was too busy to take a lunch break. As a result I didn't get my weight training in. Will have to do it tomorrow. Ate well during the day. Ran 10km after work with running club. Felt pretty hard since I haven't been running as much. Had a good dinner after my run but blew it in the evening and had a bowl of popcorn. Pretty disappointed with myself as I wasn't even hungry. Guess I just wanted it because my husband was snacking on cheese and crackers. Pretty sorry excuse.

Date:: 23 May 2003
Time:: 12:26:35

Todays Journal

Thursday, May 22, 2003

Feeling crummy today - start of a head cold/flu perhaps. Got up at 5:00 a.m. for a run - ran for about 45 minutes. Have to start getting my mileage up or else reduce my calories. Would rather run - I love to eat and my eating habits are, at best, not yet perfect. Did my lower body weight workout on the lunch hour. Pretty much ate well all day. Once again blew it in the evening: succumbed to wine and cheese and crackers. Had a lousy sleep and woke up at 3:00 a.m. with sore throat and fever. Things could be better.

Date:: 27 May 2003
Time:: 10:40:12

Todays Journal

Friday, May 23, 2003

I'm really sick today. Hardly made it to work. Have a fever, my throat is raw and my head aches. Felt too crummy to work out on the lunch hour. As a consolation work out, I walked up to Granville Mall and bought a couple of books for the weekend. We're going up to the lake with some friends so I'm hoping to get better quickly. Because I'm feeling so terrible, we decided to forgo the drive until Saturday. My husband made dinner tonight - definitely not on the plan: pasta in four cheese sauce. Really bad day overall.

Date:: 27 May 2003
Time:: 10:48:38

Todays Journal

Saturday, May 24, 2003

Had a terrible night. Woke up several times coughing and hacking. My throat is so raw and sore from coughing that I've pretty much lost my voice. Had my oatmeal breakfast and packed up the car for drive. Got to Kamloops and purchased our weekend food. I've discovered that my husband and I have very very different ideas now about what is appropriate food stuff. There has pretty much been a fool scale mutiny in our household over our eating habits, and the support I had at the beginning of this challenge has pretty much evaporated. We ended up with a blended cart: lots of veggies, salad stuff, grapes, strawberries, cottage cheese and yogurt (my contributions); steaks, hot dogs, pretzels and cheesies (my husband's contributions). Had to dogs and fruit for luch and spaghetti and salad for dinner. Once again bad day.

Date:: 27 May 2003
Time:: 10:56:12

Todays Journal

Sunday, May 25, 2003

Can't talk at all today - can barely squeak. Haven't quit coughing and hacking and just feel miserable. I've given up any hope on this trip of maintaining any good eating habits. Everyone around me is nibbling and drinking all the time. What did I expect!! This is our fun place. Huge breakfast, eggs, sausages, toast. I'm bloated and uncomfortable. The guys threw the boat in the water today and went fishing; so we girls took advantage of the time to get some exercise and took our herd of puppies on a long walk. I got us lost. Pretty embarrassing since it's my place. We wandered around in the trails for an extra 45 minutes at least until I figured out where we were. At least we got some good exercise. The dogs were loving it!! Got back to the cabin and the guys we're still fishing so we were able to have a reasonable lunch of yogurt and strawberries. Had trout for dinner. Yummy! Still feeling lousy and have been dubbed a "low talker."

Date:: 27 May 2003
Time:: 18:34:53

Todays Journal

Monday, May 26, 2003

Still up at the lake. Having a good time but am still quite sick. Bad eating day again. The guys went fishing again so my girlfriend and I took advantage of the time to go cycling for a couple of hours. Really enjoyed cycling along all the country back roads and chasing cows out of the way. Really nice day - too bad we have to leave for home today. Didn't get home until almost midnight - except for breakfast we didn't get one proper meal today just snacks and bad ones at that.

I'm pretty unhappy with self - everything feels tight and I think I've fallen back into old patterns. Feel and look all puffy. I've been backsliding - very disappointed and disgusted with myself. Feel like giving up - support at home is gone and self-motivation is dwindling.

May 1

May already. I can hardly believe it. I thought I had everything under control today but the night was a disaster in terms of eating. My running group had a wrap up/carbo loading party at Boston Pizza tonight. So knowing this I thought I'd be prepared and try to eat something that would fit the plan. I checked out the website and the nutritional content of the menu. I was thinking I'd order a salad or something. Who would have guessed that a spinach salad could be turned into a 1100 calorie extravaganza. Every single salad was high in fat, carbs and calories. A salad was worth 3/4 of my entire daily calorie allowance, more than my daily fat intake etc. Knowing this, it's not surprising that so many dieters get ambushed - I mean really a salad is supposed to be diet food!! I was better off ordering a veggie pizza (not the veggie deluxe) than ordering a salad. Go figure! Even the Mediterranean lasagna was a better choice than a salad. So I guess its caveat emptor when eating in restaurants - don't assume anything. Beware and inform yourself. Everyday is a new challenge and a new education. Well, after today I'll be out of touch for a couple of days. I'm taking Monday off to recuperate from the race - pretty sure I won't be able to move or walk after it. Boy, am I scared and excited - very weird feeling.

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APRIL JOURNALS

April 30

I'm on a roll now. Several days of eating clean in a row - no cheats and no wine. Wow, am I proud of myself. It gets easier to stay the course each day. I think one of the most positive changes this transformation has brought about for me is a real decrease in alcohol consumption. Not that I was a drunk or anything, but I certainly did enjoy a few glasses of wine with dinner and in the evening. I'm not saying I won't have a glass of wine now and again but it certainly isn't a daily occurrence now. When I consider how many extra calories a day that is, then multiply it by a week, it's really no surprise I was getting a paunchy around the middle even though I was exercising.

I had 1/2 protein bar today at about 6:00 p.m. which wasn't on my plan because I had to do one last long run before this Sunday's race day, and I was starving and wouldn't be able to eat until after my run. I ran for about 1 3/4 hours and it felt really good since I hadn't run since Sunday. My legs actually felt springy and I felt as though I had boundless energy. It's amazing how much better you feel with several days to recover. I won't do any more running now until race day so with any luck at all, my muscles will be fully recovered and I'll have this same wonderful feeling. Really nervous thinking about it. I had a yam with dinner for the first time because I'm supposed to be carbo loading for race day. I'm not sure what to do about this because most runners chow down on tons of pasta and that's definitely not in my plan. Still trying to figure this one out. In the meantime, my fibrous veggy intake is up - I hope that will help.

April 29

Today was a clean day. Ate clean, exercised well and felt good all day. Work has been very hectic and I've been working late and coming in early on regular basis but fortunately with race day less than a week away my running schedule has drastically reduced so I don't feel so out of control. I've been hydrating like crazy in anticipation of Sunday but the downside is I'm always running to the loo - no happy medium. Did some gardening last night after the Canuck's victory so feel like I got a little bit of exercise in the evening too - keeping busy in the evening helps to keep me from snacking. Looking forward to another great day tomorrow!

April 28

Had a great day. Very busy at work but the day flew by. Had intentions of doing some gardening after work but our son was in town so came over dinner. My husband was cooking so all my good intentions fell by the wayside as I ended up having roasted garlic with a couple of pieces of French bread as a starter with a glass of wine. My dinner was spot on though, nice grilled halibut steak, green beans and a salad. I guess all in all, that's not nearly as bad as I would have been a month and a half ago so I have learned some self-control and good habits. Even skipped the ice cream dessert the guys had and treated myself instead with a protein shake before bed. I really have to focus this week on eating and hydrating extremely well - less than a week until race day.

April 27

Today is the last Sunday run of the clinic. We have been tapering off the last two weeks to make sure we're recovered by race day which is next Sunday. Only ran 6 1/2 miles today. Wow, it went fast. After spending so many Sundays out running for hours this was a treat. Spent the rest of the day buying plants and working in the garden. Spring is certainly here. Ate well all day and drank tons of water; thought I was going to float away. Today was a good day and although I did miss my snack everything else was good.

April 26

Was good most of the day. Had a day off from exercise. Eating was sporadic because we were running errands for most of the day and then meeting friends for dinner. On Neaghan's advice I bought some glutamine which will apparently aid muscle recovery. Apparently, there is some concern that the amount of running I'm doing is tearing down my muscles and this will help it regenerate faster. I hope it works - it certainly wasn't cheap. Once again, blew it at night. Tomorrow and for the next week I must be totally pure and clean.

April 25

A good day a bad night. Did a short run on the lunch hour and some ab work. Felt pretty good. Spoiled the day's hard efforts by giving in a night. Need to pick it up tomorrow.

April 24

Another good day. Everything went well. Worked on my new weight regime that Neaghn sent and really pushed to try increase. Wow, really felt it by the mid-afternoon. Skipped running tonight because of the rain and because I wanted to take advantage of Bill being away to get the house back in order. In my opinion, marathon housework is a workout in its own right. I worked up quite a sweat. Had to fight the urge late in the evening not to snack. That's my hardest time, and I was able to draw strength by reminding myself that I'd done so well up to this point and not to blow it in the 11th hour. In any event it worked and I was able to content myself with my nightly protein shake. So all ended well today and I feel as if I'm back on track.

April 23

Yes! Today I got back on track. I decided to take another tack and instead of concentrating on what I had been doing wrong, concentrated on the things that were good and the positive changes that have happened over the past month or so. It really seemed to help me to focus on the good things I've done rather than my screw ups. I've made so many good changes: drastically reducing my wine consumption, cutting out pasta and high carb foods (especially at dinner), not skipping any weight training sessions and now I view food in a whole new light. I think as fruit as a treat!!! Can you imagine that - when I go shopping I'm eyeing the grapes instead of the cookies. So these are all positive changes and I need to remember that these things are really more important than my slip ups (and there will be slip ups), but it's these small positive changes and the new ones to come that will get to my goal. One small step at a time. The accumulation of making better and better choices over time that will get me where I want to go. Positive thoughts; positive changes.

April 22

Much better, not perfect, but definitely much better. Got to work today to be greeted by our housekeeping staff who were serving pastries, juices, coffee, fruit skewers etc. Huge platters of them. I had a whole wheat bagel and took two fruit skewers. Felt so guilty about eating the bagel that I ended up throwing away one of the fruit skewers (I had already had my proper breakfast before leaving home). Other than that screw up, I really followed the plan all day.

Neaghn had emailed me the results of my assessment and I was quite impressed with the results when I compared it to the initial assessment. Really motivated me to behave. I tried the new weight routine during the lunch hour and could really feel the difference. Wow. Went to my running group in the evening and did a 5 km time trial and then home to watch the Canucks win game 7. What a great night!! And if that isn't enough, I get to increase my daily calories by another 400!!

April 21

Easter Monday and no work today. Have to like that!!

I am seriously out of control today - what's happening to me!! I never binge like this. I have to get a grip or all my hard work and effort from last month will be lost. They warned us at our running clinic to be extremely careful during the last two weeks before a race because our runs will be so much shorter and then none at all. They warned us that our bodies would want to eat, but that we wouldn't be requiring the same calories and the potential to gain weight now would be high. I'm falling into the trap! I simply MUST regain my self control NOW!!!

In order to offset all my indulgences (Bill's too, we're a team), we got up early, had a healthy breakfast and went and hiked around Buntzen Lake for 2 1/2 hours. Was a nice way to spend the morning - a good amount of exercise without overdoing it and in the proper heart rate zone for burning fat.

Spent the rest of the day tackling some long overdue garden work - another good way to burn calories. Had a healthy dinner but spoiled the effort by having 1/2 of Bill's Easter treats.

Tomorrow will be better - no more excuses! I will be good, I will eat clean, I will follow the plan.

April 20

Up early today as it is the last long run before race day. Ran 14 miles this a.m. but felt tired and weak - most likely from not having a proper dinner last night. Not eating properly really ruins what should be a nice slow comfortable run - just makes it hard and onerous. Skipped the group breakfast at the pub after the run - seems kinda crazy to me to eat greasy eggs and bacon after doing something so healthful. Spent the day helping Bill put the boat into running order - just a few more days until his annual fishing derby. With any luck he'll bring me home a nice big salmon - can't beat a freshly caught salmon. I just love it!! Ate well all day. Had Easter dinner at Mum's - really, really good - but definitely not on our plan. She had beautiful lamb dinner with lemon potatoes and all sorts of lovely vegetable side dishes. No luck behaving here - everything was far too good and tempting - good thing I ran this morning. Boy these long weekends are hard - I wonder how everyone else is doing. I'm so frustrated by my lack of self control. I was so sure it would be easier to be eat clean after having what I felt was such a good assessment - I thought that would really motivate me through the second month. I'm really not happy with myself. What's wrong with me!!! I'm falling apart!

There is nothing wrong with you, however, do not take your great assessment and become complacent with it, this is always a danger zone. Be confident, but by no means is the journey over . . do you not to see your full potential? Then get back on the plan, no excuses, no justifications . . . resolve yourself to making this work . . . ! It will be worth it!

April 19

I woke up this morning to the snap and crackle of bacon frying and the aroma of fresh brewed coffee. My sweet husband was cooking up a real treat for me. Fried eggs, hash browns, bacon and toast. This is a breakfast ritual when we're at the lake. I hated to tell him that I couldn't eat the breakfast he cooked. I guess he figured that on a long weekend I would suspend my plan. I had an egg white omelette, some grapes and a whole wheat pita toasted instead. Harley enjoyed the extra bacon and hash browns. Worked on our dock, its in pretty bad shape so I think we'll have to build a new one this spring. Cleaned the cabin up and got it ready for the new season. Sadly, we had to leave and return home today because I can't miss my Sunday run this close to race day. What a shame, only one day up at the lake. I packed a chicken pita sandwich for the trip home but snuck in some nuts & bolts too. Still I'm trying. Got home quite late but was hungry so ended up eating a salad with grilled chicken late in the evening.

April 18

Well today is a day off but I still had to get up early because we're driving up to the cabin today. Went for a short run at 6:00 a.m. and then home to clean up and pack to drive up to the lake. Had breakfast before we left and packed a protein bar for a snack on the way. Unfortunately though because we stopped in Kamloops to visit the kids and grandchildren and do our shopping, the rest of the meals sort of got skipped. Pretty difficult to travel and keep all the meals going on a timely basis. Was a beautiful day for driving and was happy to see the cabin looked pretty good after being rented for the winter. Managed to eat a healthy dinner, halibut and one of my favorite veggies, broccolini, a new hybrid form of broccoli that is skinny and doesn't have the woody stem. All of it is edible, very good. Had wine with dinner (not good). Was really bad later on and shared a bowl of popcorn during our nightly crib game. Still this is a lot better than I normally would have done. I have really bad eating habits when we're up at the lake and usually eat chips and cheesies and all kinds of junk food that I normally wouldn't eat - so although not perfect it's still a step in the right direction.

April 16

Today I had my assessment with Neaghn. To be honest, I was scared to death to hear the results. After learning that endurance running promotes the breakdown of muscles and causes many people, particularly women, to increase body fat, I was terrified that I might be moving in the wrong direction. Boy, was I pleasantly surprised!! It was better than I expected.

I lost 4 pounds (I know it doesn't sound like much, but actually according to John I wasn't supposed to lose weight), I gained 6 pounds of muscle, and reduced my total body fat from 25.4% down to 18.8%!! Wow, I knew my clothes were feeling a lot better but the numbers really drive it home.

The really good news is that Neaghn says they're going to increase the calories I'm allowed which is great news because I was really starting to feel like I was dragging on some days. She's also taking the cardio component out of my exercise because my running schedule is so intense that I don't need it, and we're concerned about giving my muscles some recovery time. This will make my life a lot easier as I was having a really tough time scheduling everything.

I'm a happy, happy girl today!!

April 15

Today was an odd as my husband had his surgery so nothing really ran on schedule. I got up early to go to the gym and did upper body weights and rode the bike. Didn't have time to do any core work though. Spent the day while my husband was in surgery with my Mum who wanted to do some shopping. As it turned out, most of her shopping was at the Bon Ton Bakery purchasing Easter cakes and so on. Talk about a tough place to be while trying to behave. She really wanted to have tea there and it was tough to resist with the lovely bakery smells wafting through the air. I'm proud to say that I just said "no", thank you. I couldn't, however, resist the beautifully handcrafted chocolate Easter eggs and ended up buying a a couple for my grandchildren. I had cottage cheese and veggies for lunch and a protein bar as a snack while driving my exhausted husband home. Went to my running clinic tonight but couldn't stay for the run because I didn't want to leave Bill alone for that long. He's feeling pretty nauseated and awful from the anesthetic and is in quite a bit of pain. Made him some soup for dinner; I had a salad with chicken breast. So all in all, I managed to keep my eating in hand although I didn't get all my meals at their scheduled times.

April 14

Not much to say today. Got up at 5:00 and went to the gym before work to ride the bike and do core work. Ate well all day and did lower body weights during the lunch break. Surprisingly, my legs feel pretty good considering yesterday's long run. Food went well today so can't complain about that. I'm afraid my journals will be behind for the next couple of days. My husband is having surgery tomorrow so I won't be back in the office until Thursday. I'll catch them up then. Until then, bye for now.

April 13

Yes, it's Sunday. The day I've been anxiously awaiting and anticipating at the same time. The last long run of the clinic and it's Sun Run day for tens of thousands of lower mainland runners. Woke up at 6:00 a.m. to have my oatmeal and protein shake with a banana. I find this works like a charm for long runs and have decided it's my breakfast of choice on Sundays. Met the group at the Running Room store and car pooled down to King George Station where we joined the throng of Sun Runners trying to get downtown. What a frenzy - people everywhere and everyone is so pumped and excited about the Sun Run - kinda sorry I can't be part of it. Oh well, I have my own run to do. Got off at Main Street and we regrouped to start our run. Today our run will take us from Science World back to the Running Room store on King George via the 711 trail, basically follows the skytrain route. We crossed through three different municipalities: Vancouver, Burnaby and Surrey. Wow, it seems incredible to me that I'm doing this. Had an excellent run and at the 16 mile point, Rose and I both had a surge of energy and forged ahead and basically finished the last 4 miles as though it were a tempo run. I hope I feel this energized on race day. Wow, what an awesome feeling.

Had a protein bar on the drive home and then spent the rest of the day, working around the house. Ate all my meals and had a good dinner. I confess, however, that I broke down and cheated a little after dinner. Couldn't help it, I was starving.

April 12

Got up today a little earlier than I generally do on a Saturday. Needed to go to the gym and get the last cardio in for the week. Went grocery shopping and cleaned the house today. Blah, but has to be done. Realized today that I have adhered completely, to date, to the exercise part of this challenge and it hasn't been a problem. Now, if I could only do as well on the eating!! I do seem to have more trouble maintaining perfect eating habits, don't know why I can't buckle down and just get it right every day. Eating "clean" is my biggest challenge. I know I don't eat junk and fast food, but I sure have difficulty not sneaking a little more fruit or maybe a glass of wine (or if I'm really struggling popcorn or the rare cookie!) I ate clean all day and drank loads of water because tomorrow is my last big, big run before the race - 20 miles. I decided to have the spaghetti squash with a tomato turkey sauce because I thought it would provide a fairly good amount of carbs without cheating and having pasta. Just one little slip up, a wee glass of red wine while watching the Canucks game. What a fantastic game!! Great way to end the day.Take care

April 11

TGIF, it's been a hard week. Work has been a killer and I'm ready for some home time. Today was a good day in terms of exercise and eating. Only one minor slip up and that was a glass of wine with dinner. But all things considered, that's a lot better than a month ago so I'm making progress. Did my exercise on the noon hour and then ran for about 7 miles after work. Admittedly, I did have an extra protein shake with 1/2 a banana before running but I feel its necessary to keep the legs going and to keep the meals on schedule. Had a really good run and could have and wanted to go further but needed to get home to make dinner. Realized I'd been eating fish of one type or another all week so decided to shake it up and have chicken. Most people are complaining about growing feathers - I'm growing gills. All in all a pretty good day.

April 10

Well, it's official - I am doing too much stuff. Today, my husband told me that I'm never around much and that when I am, I'm always busy and rushing around. So, I have to find a way to simplify. Not sure how yet, but I definitely have to find a way!

I had a really good day today. I did lower body weights over the lunch hour and feel as if I'm getting a little more out of it than I had been. Went home and visited with my husband and son for an hour before I had to run out the door to join the Thursday night run group. He gave us the cutest pictures of our grandchildren - what a pair of sweeties they are. When they're a bit older and steadier on their little legs, I'm going to teach them to ski and take them bike riding. We're going to have such fun with them at the lake in the summertime teaching them to swim and fish - I can hardly wait! They certainly give me great incentive to stay healthy and fit because I want to be able to really enjoy spending time doing things with them! (Beware Gramps, we're going to wear you out!)

At our clinic there was a discussion going on about how many people (especially women) had gained weight (generally 5 - 8 pounds) during marathon training (and it wasn't increased muscle). It seems really bizarre that you can go out and run 50+ miles a week and still gain weight. But it goes back to what John told me during my first assessment that endurance runners are constantly tearing down their muscles, so as a consequence they have less muscle and then their metabolisms slow down. Hence the importance of weight training. Isn't it just ironic though - the whole reason a lot of people start recreational running is to lose weight. The good news is, is that once you quite intensive marathon training and go back to regular running the weight drops off pretty quickly. Fortunately, I haven't experienced any weight gain - probably because I've been part of the challenge and have been weight training. But it does make me wonder if I would be having better results with the challenge if I wasn't training so intensively. Food for thought, anyway.

April 9

I decided to get up at 5:00 this morning and go for a run before work. I thought that might be better than going after work when quite frankly I seem to be running out of steam lately. Ran for an hour and felt really good - completed the run before the rains came. How lucky is that! Pretty much everything went well today. Worked on lower body weights over the lunch hour and feel as if that's getting better. Ate well today and followed the plan to a "T". No complaints with that.

The only concern I'm having is that it's difficult time wise to get in all the exercise I'm supposed to do plus my training runs. As it stands now, I can do my weights during the lunch hour, two sessions of the stationary bike and core work during the other two lunch hours, run in the morning or at night, but I don't want to exercise three times a day to get in the other two sessions on the stationary bike. It's a bit much to fit all of this in. So far, I've managed, but truthfully its been extremely hard and time consuming and requires a lot of dressing and undressing and showering - not to mention the time I spend doing laundry because my running/exercise clothes are constantly in use. Whew, no wonder I'm starting to feel tired. Plus I still have to make dinners, lunches and maintain a house etc. The garden is a disaster, and I simply must turn some attention to it now - there aren't enough hours in my day!! I'm spinning out of control. And my rings need sizing now - they're falling off my fingers! Sorry, I'm not complaining (and anyway who would listen), really - just stating the realities of my life right now.

April 8

I feel pretty good today. Have managed the food and timing of it fairly well considering the day's schedule. I added a protein shake with 1/2 a banana after work because it's a run clinic night. and I don't get dinner until really late. So, although technically this isn't allowed I've discovered it's the only way I can keep my feet moving - I'm sure I must burn off the extra calories. Did core work and cycled during lunch and then did speed work at the track after work. Was exhausted when I got home at 9:00 and couldn't eat dinner fast enough. Had sole stuffed with salmon and veggies - very healthy. Had another protein drink before turning in - my new version of dessert - starting to feel deprived if I can't have it.

April 1

Well today was another good day; everything just seemed to work today. Had my meals pretty much on schedule and didn't fudge at all. Rode the bike and did core work on the lunch hour. Unfortunately, I missed my running clinic in the evening due to working late but will make up for it and go to the Thursday clinic. Felt really good and energetic today. My husband went grocery shopping today and bought me sole stuffed with salmon for dinner. It was delicious

April 2

Today I went for an early morning run to make up for missing last night's clinic. It's really nice that it's getting light enough now to do this before work. It's so much nicer getting the cardio out of the way first thing in the morning. The morning started with a breakfast meeting, and I handled that pretty well. There were about five platters of breakfast pastries and I managed to just nibble on a orange slice, a few grapes and 1/4 of a bagel (didn't put anything on it). I was pleased with my self-control because normally I would have given in and joined everybody. So although not perfect, it is definitely a step in the right direction. I felt really good all day today and had a lot of energy.

I weight trained during the lunch hour and really concentrated on my form and slowing the movements down. I can really feel it in my triceps and back. They don't hurt but I can tell I really worked on those areas - they actually feel pleasantly fatigued.

My husband made me a nice trout dinner with lots of veggies. I hope trout is okay - it's not specifically listed in my plan but I love it. My husband catches it up at our cabin and freezes it immediately so it's always really, really fresh.

We went to a movie after dinner and that was a real challenge for me because I just love popcorn. Popcorn to me is a major food group, and I have been known in the past to eat it for dinner. I went armed with my water bottle full of good water and a steady resolve to just say no to popcorn. I said no to popcorn, but unfortunately a few of Billy's jujubes did sneak in. Drats and I was doing so well. Overall though, I know I have improved because I exercised a lot more self-restraint than I ever would have before. Oh well, baby steps will ultimately get me to my goals.

April 3

Today I feel tired. I weight trained and rode the bike during the lunch hour. Really feel hungry after lunch and find that lunch doesn't sustain me for the afternoon. I've started eating my lunch in two shifts: 1/2 at a time to make it through the rest of the workday. Around 4:00 I was so hungry that I ended up having a light hot chocolate (only 49 calories and not much else so I thought it would be okay). Had a protein shake and 1/2 a protein bar around 6:00 because I had to go to my running clinic so couldn't eat dinner when I got home from work. We're in the speed work segment of our clinic and are running fast 800's with 200 meter recovery runs between. Still no energy: so my fast was not fast. All in all, with the warm up run to track, the speed work and the run back to the clinic, we were running for about an hour and half so by the time I got home and showered it was about 9:00, and I was ready to raid the fridge. Fortunately, I had chopped up all my dinner veggies before I left for the run and had some trout left over so I was able to follow the plan for dinner even though it was later than is ideal. When I tally up the day food wise everything was pretty good except for the hot chocolate and the 1/2 protein bar. I hope this doesn't hurt too much because my assessment is coming up soon and I'm getting nervous!

April 4

Everything was going just fine today until the early evening. I just keep running out of steam which is new for me. I had a training run scheduled after work so I ate 1/2 a protein bar on the commute home and was still starving so had a protein shake right before the run. Started the run out slowly, but I just didn't have any energy . . . I was totally flat, nothing there. I dragged myself forward for 20 minutes just putting one foot in front of the other willing myself to run for an hour. Couldn't. Broke out in a sweat, felt dizzy and horrible. I simply crashed; couldn't even run back home, ended up walking. I don't know what's happening, but I simply seem to run out of fuel by the end of the work day. In order to offset this, I've started eating my lunch in two shifts: one at the proper time, and the second half a couple of hours later but it just doesn't seem to help. I'm hoping with the new assessment something will change because race day is less than a month away and I really need to make sure my training stays up to snuff. After the aborted run, went home and made the chicken stir fry and felt a whole lot better. Oh yeah, during the run from hell, I was craving an apple - the whole time all I could envision was a beautiful, bright red, juicy apple and I don't even like apples that much! I confess I ate the apple when I got home. As a rule, I don't crave things or have a favorite food that I feel deprive of if I can't have it, so this was new to me too.

April 5

What a busy day this has been. My husband's friend came over early this a.m. to help him with repairs to our boat so we we're up early. Made them a nice ham and egg omelet and I had my weekend treat breakie of the egg whites with veggies. Very tasty. Went grocery shopping and stocked up on all my foods - just waiting for Muscle Monday at Gators to replenish the protein powder and greens now. Did housework and laundry. My mother and her friend dropped by for a visit in the afternoon. Had dinner with my Uncle and a girlfriend at Earls. Went there prepared to have grilled salmon and roasted veggies but the salmon is FARMED!!! Never, never, never will I eat that. Wasn't much else on the menu that seems to fit our plan. I opted for the sea bass - I think it was pretty good choice. Ate the sea bass, the spinach and left the potatoes on the plate. The bass was excellent!! I'm really finding eating out a challenge. It's really hard to find anything that's not carbo loaded. I think we need a get together to talk about good restaurant choices or something as I'm sure I'm not the only one who keeps hitting this snag. All in all, I think I managed okay though.

April 6

What an AWESOME day!! I had an excellent long run. We ran 19 miles all over White Rock and Crescent Beach, up hills, down hills, through trails, down the seawall. The scenery was wonderful and even though this is considered the hardest long training run because of the hills, I just loved it. Finished the run feeling strong and even sprinted up the last hill. I think the oatmeal and banana protein shake breakfast is the perfect long run breakfast - it really sustains me and keeps me going. Didn't even feel the need to use a power gel. I just hope I can achieve this feeling on race day! Rest of the day was great too, except for the Canucks losing. Finished the day off with high energy and even did more housework.

April 7

Got up extra early today to go to the gym and do core work and cardio. Had to really hurry to get to work on time but I enjoy doing the cardio early. It's too hard to combine the cardio, weights and core work into the lunch hour even if I extend it, so this works better plus I feel as if I get a jump on the morning. Work was busy, busy, busy. Some days I feel as if I'm running around on one of those hamster wheels - just spinning out of control all day - when will it ever slow down!! Did upper body weights during lunch and really felt it in my biceps today. Wow, it's amazing how you can really get your muscles to burn by just slowing the movement down - I wasn't even able to complete all my reps doing it this way. I felt really good today but as usual was hungry by mid-afternoon. Besides splitting my lunch and eating it in shifts, I have taken to saving the fruit portion of my mid-morning snack and eating it around 4:00 - 4:30 to tide me over until dinner. I know this isn't following the plan exactly but I'm just starving by this time. I had a lovely salmon dinner and ate well all day - but unfortunately succumbed to the wine in the evening.

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MARCH JOURNALS

MARCH 1

What a gorgeous day - went for a run in the bog and enjoyed the sunshine. Had a great run, ran approximately 10km. Bill and I had a leisurely day doing odd jobs about the house and made a lovely, healthy dinner in anticipation of tomorrow's long run. I'm very excited about the run tomorrow as it's a cut back run and I'm anxious to see if I notice that I am stronger on this run. Turned in early.

MARCH 2

Woke up at 5:30 feeling wonderful - saw Billy off to work. Uggh, not even 1/2 hour later and I'm sick. Feel wretched. I have the stomach flu. I've spent the entire day with my head in the toilet. Yuk!! What a lousy day - stayed in bed all day - can't eat a thing. Just feel horrible. Can't wait for this day to end. Missed my run!!!

MARCH 3

I feel marginally better - still to sick to contemplate going to work. What a drag - I know my work will be piling up and the rest of the week will be twice as hard because I missed today. My back aches from sleeping so much and I can still only nibble on bits of bread and even that is making me sick. What a crummy day.

MARCH 4

Felt okay this morning when I woke up. Got dressed and commuted the hour in to work. Got there and realized that I still was too sick to work; felt horrible, light headed, achy and nauseous. Came home, back to bed. The only bright spot in this day is that now I at least feel well enough to read a bit. I've started reading Nancy Clark's "Sports Nutrition Guidebook." Very insightful. It will be interesting to see if the Challenge follows any of her ideas. I dragged myself out of bed at 6:00 p.m. to attend my running clinic lecture. They had a four time Canadian cycling champion there speaking on motivation and visualization - very, very good and inspiring. Skipped the run and came home and went back to bed. I must make a point of getting my visualization chart and mantra together this week. Still feel like a slug, back to bed.

MARCH 5

Woke up at 4:30 a.m. with a fever and a headache; took some Tylenol and back to bed. Still not feeling well enough to work. Spent the better part of the morning in bed. Hopefully, I'll be able to get back to work tomorrow - feel awful missing this much work.

MARCH 6

Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day!! I feel so much better I could sing (but I won't). Had a breakthrough at about 7:00 p.m. last night - actually felt well enough that I was starting to think about food again. I always know I'm well when I want to eat. I feel about 80% and considering how things were going, that's huge. I'm back in the land of the living today - back at work and to make things even better the work load didn't pile up too much. In fact, both my team members have been sick and hardly here this week either - what a relief (although I do feel badly for them). I guess this flu really did take a toll, I'm pretty sure I lost a few pounds and a workmate noted that I looked like I'd dropped about five pounds - said my face was thinner. Definitely not the way I wish to lose weight and anyway, in my experience, it just pops right back on. I took a minute to look at some of the other challenger's journal entries, some very interesting and creative people out there. I, too, have not yet met with John so am still awaiting my plan. As well, I've missed all the meetings so far. As result, they used the ghastly assessment picture of me. Horrible. I'm hoping we'll be able to get a support group going. I'd like to meet the other people doing the challenge and I think it would be really wonderful if we could all work together and help each other attain our goals. It would be great to find an exercise buddy who lives in the same area; the buddy system really does work. I meet with John on Saturday so I think I'll chat with him about this. Seeing as how I feel so much better, I'm going to join the Thursday night running group and get the run in that I missed on Tuesday. I can't wait, but I will have to take it easy as it's hill training and I don't want to overdo it and have a relapse. I can hardly wait, I feel like a kid in candy store. So far my eating has been prudent. In fact, really I don't think it's what I eat that has caused this spare tire. It's more a case of how much I eat and, oh yeah, the wine. I love wine and my husband makes wine at home and that makes it easy to consume too much because it's so available and so affordable and goooood. I know John will have something to say about that. My one big hope is that he doesn't restrict me to a high protein diet. Since I'm doing so much more running now I think carbohydrates should form the bulk of my diet. I guess I'll find out on Saturday. I'm anxious to get going to.

Here's to a great challenge to all and I wish everyone success in attaining their own personal goals!

March 7

Wow up at 5:30 a.m. today and it's snowing; huge fluffy beautiful flakes. Unfortunately, fell on my butt cleaning my car off first thing this morning - what a way to start the day. Last night went running with the Thursday night clinic and did hill repeats - 7 times up and down 140th. I deliberately took it easy as I know I'm still not 100%, but boy did it ever feel good to blow those cobwebs out and get moving again. All in, we ran 6 1/2 miles so not too bad. Unfortunately, however, after a day of good eating and getting some exercise, I blew the eating in 11th hour. I know it was the wine, we had a couple of glasses of wine with dinner which is always my downfall as it triggers my appetite and especially an appetite for sweets so I got into the popcorn (not too bad) but then I finished off with two cookies (BAD, CYNTHIA).

Still not feeling great, have a headache and am a bit achy. I tried to do some upper body weights on the lunch hour but realized I was just going through the movements and not using good technique or putting any effort in so opted out early and went back to work. Tonight we've been invited over for dinner at our friends and that should be fun - I just wish I had more energy. Must make a point to get a good sleep when we get home. I'm often guilty of trying to do too much and usually skimp on the sleep. Tomorrow I see John and get my plan so I'm starting to get quite excited and, to be honest, quite apprehensive. It's all very exciting and scary at the same time.

March 17

Feeling fine today but have some concerns after reading everyone else's journal entries. It seems to me that everyone else is experiencing, feeling and showing some changes. I don't think that's happening for me although I have been following everything (with the exception of Saturday). Maybe I'm just a slow starter or something, but overall I don't see or feel any big changes. I don't have any burning sensations or pain after my weight work outs; a little tightness the next day is about it and sometimes I can't complete all the reps so I think the weights are heavy enough. I really hope I'm on track - I thought I was.

I did lower body weights today and although there was some improvement in my technique, I still don't feel like I'm getting the full benefit. One problem is that we don't have barbells in the fitness facility so I have to do squats and lunges with barbells and it's difficult for me to hold enough weight to work those muscles hard enough. The other difficulty is the extensions and curls. The universal gym appears to be made for taller people: I've tripled checked the chart on the wall to ensure I'm using it properly and watched others use it and, frankly, I think I'm just to darn short to use it efficiently. So there is my major concern.

Not feeling entirely positive today about these things. My husband thinks I'm being too hard on myself and claims my pouchy belly is flatter. Boy, I hope he's right! Eating is okay, but keep forgetting the oil.

March 18

They say things happen for a reason and I believe it's true. Today I received affirmation that I am on track and that things really are working. Two people in the gym commented on my appearance and even said I was starting to look "ripped and less bulky." Wow, I certainly needed to hear that.

Was a bit hungry in the mid-afternoon. I always seem to get hungry about then. Today, I had my protein shake with another 1/2 banana before my running clinic but was starving by the time I got home. Tuesdays are difficult because there is simply no way I can even consider eating dinner before 9:00, and I know that John recommends no later than 7:00. Not quite sure what to do about this. As a consequence, even though I try not to eat carbs in the evening, I was so hungry that after I ate my dinner I had a piece of pita toast.

March 19

Had a good day today with a light cardio workout and core training. Noticed my abs seem to be getting stronger and have been really working on the lower abs and its paying off. Still a bit hungry between lunch and dinner but otherwise everything is going fine.

March 20

Started the day with an early dentist appointment and then off to work. Did a lower body weights and core work over the lunch hour and am beginning to feel a bit better about it although I still don't think I'm getting the full benefit of the lower body weights. So far, the best lunches for me have been the pita sandwiches: they're easy to make, not messy and easy to eat while working. I had 1/2 a power bar around 4:30 in anticipation of my run after work. Ran approximately 6 miles around Coal Harbour and part of the seawall but had a terrible time of it. Felt dizzy, broke out in a sweat and felt light headed. Just felt terribly strange and a bit out of it - so tried half a Power Gel to see if that would help. It seemed to help a little.

Went to Mum's for dinner and that was great. She made chicken and tons of veggies for me (asparagus, green beans, carrots and salad) and a boiled potato (turned down the potato, though). Everything was wonderful and it's especially nice when someone else does the cooking. Thanks, Mum. Only one little slip up - I had a teeny bit of wine: about 1/4 of a glass. All in all, not too bad.

March 21

Well today has been a good day. I've been feeling good all day and full of energy. Today's exercise was light: 15 minutes on treadmill at a low heart rate and then some core work. I called again about the balls and they're still not in so was a bit disappointed about that as I would have liked to have had it for the weekend. Perhaps once the balls do arrive, we could have them delivered to Gator's and save a trip to Langley - just a thought.

I'm feeling very positive about this challenge. It's been just shy of two weeks and already I've had a lot of success conquering my dinner wine addiction. Actually I'm not feeling left out anymore when my husband has a glass or two with his dinner. I've been drinking water in a large wine glass during dinner and that seems to help me out even though I know it's just psychological. So there's a positive change already beside the physical changes that are becoming noticeable. I can't wait to go shopping!!

March 22

Today I had difficulties scheduling all my meals properly as Saturdays are my "rest" day and they generally have no real structure. I slept late today so my schedule was way out whack. Ended up eating dinner very closely after lunch in order to make sure it was before 7:00 p.m. I thought about skipping dinner altogether but wasn't sure if that was a good move either. Tried to go for a short run in the morning, but found my legs were too fatigued for some reason. I've learned to listen to my body and when I feel that way, I don't push it because that generally is the path to injury. Other than scheduling problems, the day was great and overall I felt quite good.

March 23

Today started early. Up at 5:00 for a bowl of oatmeal and a protein shake with water and then had to head out and meet up with the girls to go downtown and do our course run. We ran for almost four hours - the last couple of miles were killers and I was beginning to wonder what in the world possessed me to start this running business. Frankly, sometimes it's just hard. We got through it and arrived back to a high carb pancake breakfast being cooked by all the store managers. I had good intentions really - I brought along a protein bar to keep me from indulging but . . . they were good. I wish I could say I reformed after that but I can't. After spending a lovely day wandering around Steveston, my husband took me out to a pub for beer and appies . . . they were good, too. I've vowed to myself to get right back on track tomorrow and I will. Somehow, I just seem to feel as if I need one treat day - it seems to make it easier for me to behave during the week.

March 24

Overall today was a pretty good day. Went to the gym on my lunch break and did cardio and core work. The lower ab exercises are becoming a bit easier now. At first they took some getting to use to because I was concentrating so hard on doing them correctly, but now I can feel the difference when I'm executing them properly.

Just wasn't in the mood to cook dinner tonight and since my husband was called in for yet another OT shift, I just made an egg white frittata with asparagus, onions, green peppers and tomatoes. Actually, it was pretty good and surprisingly filling. Went to the gym and did weights after dinner and enjoyed being able to be a little more leisurely and really concentrate on form.

March 25

Today went okay. I did lower body weights and core work on the lunch hour. I skipped my running clinic tonight because my legs were still too fatigued from Sunday's long run. I'll make up for it by going with the Thursday night group.

Unfortunately, skipping the run seemed to provide fuel for bad behavior. Dinner was appropriate except I snuck a few extra nibbles when making my husband's lunch, and then I fell apart and ended up eating popcorn. I can't understand why I did that. It just seems that when I start making progress I manage to self-destruct somehow. I wish I could find the answer to this - I do so well most of the time and then for some reason I just blow it. I'll just have to keep working on this.

March 26

Today was a good day. I got up early and ran for 45 minutes in the morning. My legs felt good and it would have been nice to go for longer. Rode the bike and did core work on the lunch hour. Ate well today and all pretty much on schedule. The only thing that might have been a problem is that I had a light hot chocolate at about 3:30. The stretch between lunch and dinner for me is too long. I always find I'm hungry then or in need of a little boost. So, I hope that isn't too damaging. I know that I can have a protein shake as a mid-afternoon snack but I prefer to save it for the evening. I kinda think of it as "dessert." So ideally, I should maybe save some of my lunch and eat it around 3:30.

March 27

Today I felt pretty good. Ate all my meals pretty much on schedule except for dinner which is hard to schedule because of commuting times and my husband's work schedule. I can rarely get dinner in before 7:00 and am usually outside the three hour range. Did upper body weights today and really concentrated on doing them slowly. Wow, did I feel that. Also did ab and core work again. My abs were burning today. I've really been concentrating on them and trying to do them pretty much everyday, especially the lower ab exercises. Wow, they actually hurt during the exercises. Felt kinda lazy during the evening so just curled up on the couch with my sweetie and watched the Canucks' game and called it an early night.

March 28

Up early today for work. Things seemed pretty good today. Ate well during the day and stuck to the plan. Thought I'd go for a run after work but just somehow didn't have the energy. Felt kinda of lackluster by the time I got home and didn't feel like doing much of anything - think that was just the result of a really hard work week. Frankly, I didn't even feel like making dinner. Ended up making an egg white omelet with veggies since my husband was working. Felt guilty about missing my run, but made up for it by doing housework so I wasn't completely derelict.

March 29

Got up and went for my overdue run this morning. Not the best day for eating. Unfortunately, the meals were sporadic and I missed a couple of them because we were running all over Vancouver today trying to visit with guests from out of town, go to an open house etc. Even though I carried along protein bar for this eventuality things just didn't seem to flow on schedule. The best laid plans . . . Went to the forum on Saturday and was truly inspired by some of the great results I hear are being achieved. The forum came at the perfect time as it's recharged my motivation which was starting to flag. Enjoyed meeting some of the people I've been reading about - it's nice to actually meet them in person!

March 30

Today I suffered during our run and it's simply a result of not being properly fuelled or hydrated. Yesterday's poor eating certainly came home to roost. My feet felt as if they were made of lead, and every step was an effort. Got through the run but just - sometimes sheer stubbornness pays off. My time was horrendous. Came home and had a lovely big egg white and veggie omelet which I felt I'd earned. Went to visit Granny, walked the dog and spent the day with my husband. Had wine with dinner - not good! Have vowed to improve.

March 31

Today was a gold star day. I ate "clean" and on time. Really had it together today and felt good. Had lunch with my girlfriend and ate my chicken pita sandwich and carrots. Watched her eat sushi and only felt a twinge of envy. I love sushi and wonder if it will ever be in the "plan." Fortunately, though I really like the pita sandwiches so I was able to stick to my eating plan. Had salmon and veggies for dinner and then went to the gym. I enjoy going to the gym in the evening although I seldom do it. It helps get me over my night time snacking habit. All in all, I'm very pleased with how things went today and I plan and expect to do as well tomorrow.

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